How To Take Care Of Your Seeker
by Kibble Beast
Summary: Ever wondered how Megatron would cope with a sparkling Starscream? And naturally, this wouldn't be any fun without Skywarp, Thundercracker and an assortment of favourite characters. ;D Join them on their EPIC journey! Pre-TF07. C:
1. And The Beige Begins

Right. Here we are! _How To Take Care Of Your Seeker, _at last.

This fits in nicely before _The Edge Of Reason_, actually. It's the same 'verse, and everything! :D

Call it the _official_ prequel, and expect wonderful little hints and scenarios that you _Reason_ readers may be able to interpret differently.

When writing this originally, I realised it wasn't going to work as a one-shot.

And at the same time, I apologise for the random dark theme at the beginning. I tried to... lighten it up a bit. Hope I succeeded.

Anyway, this is my interpretation of the movie-verse. Therefore, expect trademark bizarreness. ;D

If something doesn't make sense, feel free to PM or whatever. I'll be very pleased that you care.

Maybe I should mention that we're back on Cybertron, back in the days where Megs isn't particularly evil.

That's about that! I think the rest you can work out as you roll.

Onwards!

(P.S. A deca-cycle is about three weeks, I think.)

This is dedicated in its entirety to **Clumsy Peg**, because I just read her profile and WAILED and MELTED and LAUGHED with unexpected LUBB.

You're the BESTEST. Hope it's worthy! xD

* * *

"I can't believe that things like this still happen," the Lord High Protector of Cybertron fumed, stepping over burning rubble and twisted metal.

"Sir-!" A hideously coloured mech- _luminous_ green and _dirty_ yellow- leapt into his vision. "Optimus Prime has arrived...this way!"

Megatron followed the mech (it wasn't like you could take your optics off of him) through the chaos, looking around at the decimated building they were walking through disbelievingly.

Eventually, he saw the welcome sight amongst the disorder, and strode over to his brother.

Optimus managed to disengage from being assaulted by some reporter, and sighed. "This is terrible."

"I know," Megatron replied mournfully.

The equally disgusting-to-behold purple and pink reporter quickly made notes. "'_This...is...terrible.' His brother replies with untold sorrow lacing his deep, mechly tones: 'I-_"

Megatron growled, and cracked his knuckles in a long rippling motion.

The reporter quickly withered and scurried away.

Optimus eyed him. "I _wish_ I could do that."

Megatron smirked. "You're too soft to do that."

"Bah, I'll show you soft."

They stood quietly for a moment.

"...I cannot stop looking," Optimus suddenly intoned emotionlessly.

"I know. It's terrible- hard to look away."

"I mean seriously: _green_ and _yellow_? What were his parents _thinking_?"

"Green an-? Optimus! I thought you were talking about the devastation!" Megatron waved a hand at their surroundings, then realised the mech who had brought him here was standing close by.

"No, no. That _mech_ there is commanding my entire attentions."

Megatron turned to look. "...They should have been sterilised."

Both brothers stared at the object of their interest/disgust, who shuffled uncomfortably under the intense scrutiny of the two most powerful mechs in existence.

Optimus hesitantly reached out and poked the armour. "...I cannot believe this. I _didn't_ imagine it. I had hoped that it wasn't true. Elita would scrap this abomination for a crime against... against..."

"Everything." Megatron was also inspecting the mech incredulously, tilting his helm as he looked more closely. "Oh, Primus! Look-!"

Prime narrowed his optics in concentration, then shrieked, visibly cringing. "_OLIVE GREEN_, TOO?"

Megatron quickly turned around. "I've got to look away, before I purge, or say something cruel."

"I quite like it, actually."

He whipped round again. "Excuse me? What did you just say?"

The vivid mech spoke loudly. "I love my armour. It's a gift from Primus. We're not all sparked with _boring_ colour combinations, or a _single_ colour." There was a definite sneer going on there.

Megatron narrowed his optics. "You idiot. I _like_ being silver. Simple; to the point, yet with an air of sophistication. It has somewhat of an understatement, yet cries: _You want me, you can't have me. I'm far superior. _Pit, the word itself has an edge. Observe. Green. Siiiillverrrrr. _Siiiiiiiiiillllverrr_."

Optimus actually snarled. "And red and blue is _so_ heroic. Combined with _sexy_ silver, I'm simply gorgeous. Next time you think you have a right to insult my brother and I, remember how _you_ look. You're _obscene_."

"And a gift from Primus? He must have _hated_ you," Megatron shook his helm in revulsion. "And I sincerely hope that you haven't got any siblings. If your parents even _think_ of sparking again-"

"We shall have to make a personal visit," Optimus finished.

The mech flinched, and twitched quietly.

Turning away with dignified sniffs, the brothers watched as medics hurried around the complex, shouting.

"Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"Statement," Optimus answered. "I take it some of your lot discovered...?"

"Indeed. There wasn't much to save when we got here."

Optimus bowed his helm, then froze, frowning slightly.

Megatron recognised the signs of him being commed, and waited patiently, taking in more of his depressing surroundings.

"Looks like I'll be giving a statement with _you_," his brother finally announced.

The bigger mech raised an optic ridge. "Am I not good enough?"

Optimus smiled sadly. "Obviously not."

They walked to the front of the destroyed buildings.

"Well, I heard you didn't lose any mechs... that's good news."

"It is indeed," Megatron replied. "At lea-"

Ironhide suddenly jumped in front of Optimus, cannons whirling.

"'Hide, what the Pit are you doi-"

"Assassin!" Ironhide shouted, aiming his weapons into the rubble. "Show yourself!"

There was a moment of silence.

A blur shot from the ruins and attached itself to Optimus' arm.

Blinking, they made out a tiny sparkling desperately clinging onto the limb.

"Oh," Optimus said stupidly, holding his arm out for the others to see. "A sparkling."

"Hold your arm out; I'll rid you of it."

"Ironhide!" The Prime twitched, regaining himself. "You can't just shoot a sparkling!"

"I can if it looks like it's about to attack you," the black mech replied, optics narrowed.

"'Hide, it's a _sparkling_. What is it going to do? Bite m- OW!" Optimus winced as the tiny Cybertronian gnawed his hand.

"See? You just can't protect yourself. You _throw_ yourself into these dangerous situations-"

"It _savaged _me!" Optimus stared at his hand, the sparkling still dangling off of it. "...It's _still_ savaging me!"

Megatron sighed, and firmly grabbed the assailant around the middle. "Drop my brother, sparkling."

The beige youngster blinked large red optics, and opened his mouth.

"Thanks, Megs," Optimus sighed, wiggling his fingers. "Ah, I'm up first... I hear you're joining me in a minute. See you then."

Megatron watched his younger brother tread gracefully to the small crowd that had gathered and address them.

His smooth voice floated back occasionally. "_What happened here cannot be repeated-_"

"There's nothing more we can do. First Aid, scram." A familiar voice made itself known.

"Will do, sir. ...Seems like those glitches didn't want anyone left alive."

"Or they were already dead."

"That's the spirit, sir. Can I recommend you have a rest?"

"No, you can't. Get lost." Ratchet came into view, waving off another medic. Jazz suddenly bounded towards them, as Jazz is wont to do.

Megatron frowned at the sparkling in his hand. "Um, Ratchet...?"

The CMO trotted over. "Megatron? What the Pit are you doing with a sparkling? If you haven't told me about a femme, I'm going to personally dismantle your interfacing systems. A sparkling is-"

"It's not _mine_," Megatron scowled. "It leapt at Optimus."

Ratchet blinked. "...A survivor?"

"_...the testing of sentient life forms is strictly prohibited. And testing on sparklings is a heinous travesty-_"

Jazz shook his helm in disgust. "Sparkling testing."

Ratchet's shoulders sagged. "Sixteen bodies, Jazz. _Sixteen_ innocent lives lost. Lost in unimaginably painful ways. If we had only gotten here sooner... what if some could still be alive?"

"Primus... Sadists." Ironhide growled, and rotated his cannons. "I'm glad I took a few."

The medic reached out for the sparkling, which snapped at his fingers.

"It bites," Megatron said pointlessly.

"Yes, _thank you_, Megatron. I'm sure I'd bite too, if I'd been what this little guy had been through."

Ironhide was puzzled. "Why isn't he biting _you_?"

Megatron had no reply, so he queried Ratchet. "He's a mech?"

"Yes, he's a mech. Can't you tell?"

"He's very small, and..." Megatron hefted the sparkling, which screeched. "-very light- what the Pit was that noise for?"

"He's had a deprived life," Ratchet sighed. "Of course he's going to be small."

Jazz smiled. "Sounds like he liked that."

"What? This?" Megatron moved his hand again.

The sparkling giggled happily as he soared through the air.

"Look, whatever. I don't have time for this."

"_The masterminds behind this operation were difficult to trace. They wor-_"

"_So why didn't you try a little harder? Why didn't you put more funds into **finding **__them? Did it occur to you that lives- sparklings- were on the line?_"

Megatron's helm snapped round as someone ruthlessly interrupted Optimus.

"That's it. I'm going over. He's not having everyone pin the blame on him-" The silver mech handed the sparkling to Ratchet. "...What the Pit is he doing?"

"He obviously likes you," Ratchet pursed his lips as the mechling growled and wriggled towards Megatron, who tilted his helm, noticing something.

"What are those?"

Jazz jaunted towards them. "Are those what I think they are?"

"Yup," Ratchet confirmed mysteriously.

Ironhide wandered over. "Can I blow them up?"

"Certainly not. Look-" Ratchet pointed out two little nubs on the sparkling's back.

"Are they necessary? I could blow them off of him. It would be painless and eas-"

"_No_, Ironhide! He's a Seeker, you _fool_!"

"A Seeker? They're quite rare, aren't they?"

"Especially this far out from Vos," Jazz confirmed. "Wonder how our lil' guy got here?"

The sparkling chirped.

_"So why has it taken this long? If this tragedy is so regrettable, why haven't you discovered it sooner?"_

With a snarl, Megatron strode to join Optimus, and glared at the reporters. He did not like reporters. Especially idiots like this one, who had no idea and did not care what burdens his little brother carried. "We're doing all we can. This really isn't our fault. Why don't you go and _whine_ at the scum who actually create the problems? Oh- I forgot. It's because you have no courage. None whatsoever."

There was a slight murmuring and shuffling in the crowd as Megatron asserted himself.

"But-"

"No buts. And, if you hadn't realised, nit-picking your Prime isn't going to help. Why don't you bunch of _half-malfunctioning_ losers go and do something useful? If you care so much, and we're doing such a bad job, go undercover. No one's stopping you. Try to find all of the glitches on or off of Cybertron, and once you know how hard and dangerous it is, and if you succeed, _then_ I'll listen to you. But not before."

There was a shocked silence.

"We're done here." Megatron put a hand on Optimus' shoulder, and steered him away.

The reporters burst into a deafening, frenzied rabble.

* * *

"It's not fair," Ratchet sighed, holding the wriggling sparkling.

"What isn't, Ratch?" Ironhide asked, ever oblivious.

"_This_," he scowled. "Those two have got more pressure than... I'm surprised they can cope."

"Rough times," Jazz agreed, then smiled at the sparkling. "At least there's lil' ones like this, though. Those media bots forget th'good that Optimus and Megatron manage to squeeze out of this place. There's more hope now than there was before," he added, in a rare moment of sincerity.

A drooping Optimus headed towards them, guided by Megatron, who was speaking to him earnestly.

"But they're not wrong! I'm just _not_ doing enough, Megs!"

"No, they are _not_. Could _they_ run a planet? No, they couldn't."

"Well, I cannot either." Optimus looked up at his brother.

"And that-" Megatron tapped his chassis. "-is why you have _me_, little fragger."

Optimus frowned. "Stop calling me 'little fragger'. I _am_ an adult!'

"Then act like one. Anyway, what are you going to do about it? You'll _always_ be my little fragger."

Optimus pursed his lips in a fake scowl. "And you will always be a patronising... patroniser."

Megatron grabbed him in a helm-lock. "Need to work on your insults, huh?"

As they noisily approached, the sparkling drew back slightly.

Optimus growled playfully, attempting to break Megatron's grip. "Get _offffffff_..."

"Not until you say it."

"Oh, come o- no! Don't give me a Primus-forsaken-"

"NOUGIE!"

"How immature _are_ you?" Optimus squirmed unhappily.

"I'll do whatever it takes. **Say it**! Before I drag you into the cameras and give you a nougie before the world...! Make your choice, brother. And make it _wisely_."

"Fine! Fine!" Optimus took a deep breath, preparing himself. "...I may be Prime..."

"Aaaaaaaand?"

There was a deep sigh as Optimus pretended to be annoyed. "...I may be Prime, but Megsy knows best."

"Thank you." Megatron flicked his helm and released him. "Now, where were we?"

"That was one of the best statements you've ever given, Megatron," Jazz grinned.

They waited for Ratchet to berate him, but nothing came. Surprised, they looked at him, only to find the CMO watching the sparkling, who was trembling quietly.

"Maybe he doesn't like nougies...?" Jazz tried.

"Hmph- more like you idiots scared him."

"What's going to happen to the little guy?" Optimus asked.

"Plenty of bots want a sparkling," Ironhide replied. "I can't understand why. How can anyone have time?"

"Not _everybody_ revolves their lives around their cannons, you fool. ...I suppose he'll go into the adoption system."

"Imagine a sparkling at HQ," Optimus mused.

Jazz clasped his hands in delight. "The fun! He could be a mini-Jazz-"

"You're already a _mini_ Jazz," Ratchet scowled, to a glare from the saboteur. "And one's enough for the Universe."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Of course it was," the CMO glowered unconvincingly.

The sparkling slowly removed his helm from under Ratchet's arm, and looked around.

"Aww..."

"We can't keep him," Ratchet said firmly. "He needs a proper home. I'll hand him to the authorities."

And with that, he span around, and marched off to do some Ratchety-business, sparkling in hand.

Jazz clicked in disappointment. "We ARE the authorities!"

Ratchet stopped to scowl and flick a rude gesture at him. The sparkling wailed suddenly, and squirmed in his arms.

"You're upsetting him with your crudities," Optimus noted.

"I'll give you _crudities_. But not this astro-second."

They watched as Ratchet disappeared.

Optimus broke the silence. "Think we'll ever see him again?"

"Who, Ratchet?" Jazz howled with amusement and slapped his leg armour.

Ironhide sniggered in appreciation.

Optimus quietly remained completely sincere. "...Honestly? Think we'll ever see him again?"

"Even if we don't, you'll have saved his life. Isn't that enough?" Megatron asked.

"...No."

* * *

A deca-cycle later, Megatron found himself inclined to agree with his brother. It wasn't enough to know that the sparkling has survived. He had to make sure he was _living_.

This was what he deduced as he stood outside a shabby looking building.

It hadn't been that hard to track him down. And, he had discovered some bot-traffickers at the same time. Somehow the sparkling had ended up in the wrong hands, _again_.

Anyway, Megatron decided, he'd just go in, and check out the situation. No ties, no nothing. Just see that he was okay.

Steeling himself, he strode to the door, and pushed it open.

The door fell to the ground with a depressing thud.

Megatron sighed, and stepped over it, entering the dark building. "Anyone there?"

"_I_ am here," a voice replied.

In the silence that followed, Megatron could hear faint rustling noises and squeaking. Could this get any weirder?

"Here, put _these_ on!"

Someone forced some kind of contraption onto his helm, and suddenly he could see a mech bouncing before him, leering dementedly. He looked around, and was a bit disturbed.

"Only sixty-"

"I don't want your ridiculous device," Megatron snarled, hurling it to the floor and activating his night-vision. "What the Pit is this place?"

The red mech he could now see before him whimpered briefly as the weird appliance cracked. "Ah, interested? I call it: _Swindle's Emporium_!"

Megatron wrinkled his faceplates, and grabbed him roughly, scowling into his single optic. He disliked single-opticed Cybertronians. They were usually a bit _weird_. "Well, wonderful. What I mean, you fool, is it legal?"

"Of course!" the mech choked. "Everything is! Just call me legal!"

"Very well, _Legal_."

There was an uncomfortable silence whilst Megatron continued surveying his surroundings.

"...Can I help you?"

"Finally. Some decorum. I'm looking for a sparkli-"

"Wonderful! I have plenty of those. This way, this way."

A slightly bewildered Megatron was enthusiastically guided down a long corridor, past stacks of metal, in between precariously balanced data-pads, pushed between a giant pair of- what the Pit _were_ they_?- _and under a variety of ridiculously bright Do-It-Yourself paint kits.

Eventually they reached a fenced off section. The mech keyed in a complicated code- which Megatron instantly memorised whilst pretending to look the other way- and they entered.

"Yes. By the way, the name's Swindle-"

"I don't give a frag about you. He's small, slight, and a Seeker."

Swindle paused. "That's not much of a description."

"How many Seekers can you have, you glitch!"

The smaller mech beckoned him into _another _room, this one even more secure than the other.

Inside, Megatron spotted an enclosure. "Primus."

"He's called Primus?"

"No! He is-this _can't_ be legal. I refuse to believe that you can keep Seekers in a _pen_."

"Hey, have you tried _not_?"

"NO!" Megatron snarled.

_Prowl should really start making a list of legal things._ Bar the obvious offences, Megatron didn't have much idea of what was what.

There was a brief silence, then an excited chirping broke out.

Megatron walked over to the enclosure and peered in. About sixteen squirming sparklings stared back. "Oookay."

"What do you want one for?"

"Pardon?"

"Seekers make very good pets, you know. For show, or just as a companion. Very loyal. _Occasionally,_" Swindle muttered under his breath. "Here! Read _this_-" He thrust a book at Megatron, who had no choice- it was either take the book, or get uncomfortably close to the other mech.

_How To Take Care Of Your Seeker_. The front cover displayed a wide-eyed Seeker sparkling chewing on a toy.

The aim may have been to look cute, but it looked rather vicious, to be honest.

Well, as today couldn't get much more bizarre, he might as well have a look.

Swindle watched as he speed-read the guide. A sparkling warbled randomly, so he discreetly kicked the cage. This was not lost on Megatron.

"Interested, then?"

"Becoming more so," the large mech muttered, turning a page.

"So. See any you like?"

"What on Cybertron do you mean?"

"Special offer. Buy one Seeker, get two _free_."

Megatron's optics twitched. "You can't sell a life! You especially cannot _put them on offer!_"

"Seekers go in threes! ...Are you with the authorities? Maybe the military...? I swear I've seen you somewhere before."

Megatron resolved the easiest course of action would be to get the sparkling out of here, then alert Prowl. The mech would have a riot.

Despite himself, he continued reading, finding himself more fascinated by the second.

"Do you have any colour preference?"

"Beige. He's beige," Megatron muttered.

"Hm. No telling what does it for some people. Best age to get them though, if you ask me...?" Swindle stopped as Megatron's icy gaze burned through him.

"I didn't." Slowly, the silver mech moved to the cage, and bent down, scanning for the sparkling.

"...I don't see him in there. I-"

"Beige? There should be a beige."

"Not in there," Megatron corrected, giving a Withering Look. "You must have _sold_ him already. You have to tell me who to."

"I sell all the tim- ahhh! Okay. You say a specific sparkling?"

"I do."

"...A beige Seeker?"

"How many _times_-!"

"...Did he bite?"

"No- hang on. He did! You did have him?"

"Still do," Swindle scowled. "He's in here somewhere; can't sell the bleeding aft. He's got cute appeal, but I can't even catch him. Put him in _there_, he gets out. Try and catch him, he's too fast. Somehow corner him, he bites. You'd be better off with-"

"No," Megatron shook his helm, scanning the entire room. "I want that one."

"Really?" Swindle sounded delighted. "If you can find him, he's yours. I won't even accept money."

"That bad, huh?" Megatron asked apathetically, looking thoroughly at some shelves.

"_That _bad. ...He can't fly yet, so he's not going to be up high."

"Have you even _read_ this book?" Megatron demanded, wafting it before him. "He _will_ be off the ground."

"Well, he never comes out when I'm in here."

"Then get lost."

"Wha-" Swindle stopped as a particularly acidic snarl burst forth from the mech in front of him. "If you want to be alone with sparklings, then that's what you like. Are you CRB check- you know what? I'm going outside. Call me when you're done."

Megatron sighed heavily as the door closed and glanced about the room. Time to employ his tactics. They worked with sparkling-Optimus, so why not now?

He sat down, leaning against the wall near the cage, opened the book- might as well get some advice whilst he was here- and began to read.

It took less than two minutes for the sparkling to emerge.

Megatron lowered the book slightly, and saw two little red optics watching him curiously from a rafter.

He raised the guide and continued reading.

Thirty astro-seconds later, there was a soft thump.

Megatron ignored it, merely turning a page.

There was a small growl.

Megatron turned to the index page and scanned for interesting keywords.

The growling turned into a loud yap.

Megatron fanned his face with the book, then opened it again in the middle, and looked at some interesting diagrams.

Out of the corner of his optics, he saw the sparkling crawl up to him.

He didn't look away from the guide until the Seeker whined.

Unlike Optimus, he didn't tug at Megatron's armour and shriek with hysterical joy at him.

Nor did he bounce on him until his helm collided with Megatron's chin, then quietly start crying.

Nor did he silently crawl onto Megatron, then curl up on his lap and fall into recharge.

But then again, that was _Optimus'_ job.

Slowly, he lowered the book and regarded the mechling next him, then continued reading.

The sparkling screeched. Loudly.

Megatron paused, looked at him again, then held out a hand.

The Seeker barely hesitated before grabbing it and curling his tiny talons around one claw.

"Who's a good little mech, then?"

Optimus always liked this question.

The sparkling just looked confused. Alright, so it was unlikely he had a clue what Megatron was talking about. Sometimes _Megatron_ didn't know what Megatron was talking about.

"Do you want to prove how good you are?"

The sparkling blinked at him and tightened his grip on Megatron's claw.

Well, that was a reaction. "Right. It's going to be hard, but I want you to trust me. Got it?"

The Seeker nibbled his claw gently.

Megatron lifted the sparkling as he stood up carefully, and watched as his little wing nubs twitched. "_Legal_- or whatever your name is- get in here!"

Swindle barged into the room loudly, then stood in a state of shock.

"Y-y-you caught him?"

"I did no such thing," Megatron replied.

"Right..._ lucky day!_ Okay, just pick the other two, then scra- I mean_, take your leave_."

Megatron sighed, and wandered over to the enclosure. There weren't many Seekers in it.

"They usually _die_, if they aren't sold quickly," Swindle announced.

From the safety of his arms, the sparkling squeaked angrily.

"Ignore the aft," Megatron reassured, then pointed at the pen. "Do you have any friends in here?"

"He sure does," Swindle scoffed. "The first few times, they broke out with him. He masterminded it, the little p-"

"Where are they?"

"Solitary confinement. He broke out of _that_ as well."

Swindle crossed to what looked like a wall with a handle. Pulling on it, a small part slid out like a drawer.

The sparkling hissed, and squirmed to Megatron's shoulder. "Let them out, then."

"Are you _insane_?"

"Would you _like_ to be?"

There was a small sound from inside- a **_boom_**_, _then a painful sounding clang.

The mech sighed and released the heavy security. The hydraulics hissed, and the door swung open.

There was a one second pause before a blue blur streaked past.

After managing not to fall over, Swindle moved to the next, and opened that one too, but there was no movement. "Whoops," the mech noted. "Looks like he's dead."

"You know what?" Megatron snarled. "Just get out of here. I can't _take_ your inane comments anymore."

"But-"

The venomous glare he received was reason enough to leave.

"...I'll just...um...go and...just go...?"

Megatron snorted and turned back to the wall.

The sparkling hopped down his arm and perched on his hand, peering into the hole with a chirrup.

There was an angry twitter from behind him, and Megatron turned to see a blue sparkling glaring at him.

The Seeker on his arm screeched at the other, little wing nubs bristling indignantly, and a loud conversation burst into life. It sounded more like a debate.

And Megatron _knew_ how long debates went on.

Sometimes, he and Optimus got so bored by the whole process, they started playing games over their bond.

_Right. I spy... something beginning with...S._

_Senile Senator? _Megatron guessed.

_Curses! Your turn._

_Yours are too easy. Hm... I spy... something... beginning with T._

_T? ...I can't see **anything** beginning with T. _Optimus discreetly glanced about the room. _This is ridiculous... what am I missing? _

_Can't tell you, can I?_

_Smart-aft- ow!_ His brother had turned round in his chair, forgetting about 'discreetly', and his helm had collided with Ironhide's cannon- the black mech had chosen to stand directly behind him. He was obsessed with body-guarding the young Prime. _Attacks could come at **any** moment, _according to Ironhide.

_Aha! 'Assassins pick the most opportune moments...' It's **Trigger-happy** mech, isn't it...? Although I do believe that your choice verges on cheating. It should have been T and H._

_Damn you, Optimus- and I don't agree._

Megatron found himself smiling slightly, then remembered where he was. Slowly, to refrain from startling the mechling, he bent down and placed him on the floor. Then, he stood and reached into the hole. He felt his claws wrap around a small body, then-

VOP.

Then there was no body. Alarmed, the silver mech looked into the hole. No, no sparkling.

Confused, he looked around to see three sparklings chattering animatedly. _Three_? He concentrated. Beige, black, blue. Black? Where had the black one come from?

He knelt down and caught their attention. The black sparkling jabbered excitedly and-

VOP.

Suddenly something latched onto his faceplates, and he toppled over in surprise.

Megatron winced as the something clawed him. Opening one optic, he saw a dark shape spread across his face.

Just as he recovered from his shock and was preparing to deal with the shape, there was a **_boom_ **that shook his audio receptors, and another something slammed into the other side of his helm.

"Holy_ frag!_" Megatron growled, about to sit up when-

Another something jumped onto his chassis and shrieked loudly. The other somethings disengaged from assaulting him.

Immediately, he sat up- then instantly remembered he needed to move slowly: the beige sparkling jumped away, and the other two tensed.

"It's okay," Megatron told them, standing again. "...but we need to get out of here. You, _beige_, tell your vicious friends not to wander off, you hear me?"

The sparkling he had addressed blinked at him.

Megatron sighed, and made his way to the door. Suddenly, he felt a slight weight scramble onto his shoulder, and looked to see the mechling perched there. The Seeker turned back, and twittered.

VOP- another weight suddenly dropped onto the top of his helm.

There was a brief moment before the pattering of tiny feet headed towards him, and the last sparkling climbed up his leg, then settled for clinging to his abdomen.

"Primus!" Megatron pulled off each one and deposited them on the floor. "You have legs! _Use_ them!"

The sparklings blinked.

Megatron opened the door with shake of his helm, and strode out into a jungle. A jungle of merchandise. Which _definitely_ had not been there before.

Swindle beamed at him, standing proudly on top of a huge desk. "What do you think? I just know that I can tempt you with-"

Megatron quietly powered up his fusion cannon and glared at the mech before him. "So help yourself if you _do_ tempt me."

"I know you...!" Swindle blinked and fainted, which ended with a satisfyingly hard fall as he bounced from one of his wares to another, rebounding off of several items before finally smacking into the floor.

He stirred momentarily before some heavy furniture he had dislodged teetered and plummeted towards him. Upon seeing it, he spasmed feebly before the painful-looking collision.

"Didn't even fire," Megatron muttered, as Swindle was buried loudly and thoroughly.

With a sigh, he exited the room, two sparklings following close behind with twitters and chirps.

* * *

All that was visible of the red mech was the tip of a finger.

The beige sparkling eyed this finger, and toddled over to it, stumbling several times. As he inspected it, it twitched feebly.

Narrowing his small optics, the sparkling yapped, and bit the protuberance hard.

Suddenly, the ground shook. He looked up to see the tremor passing through the remaining mountain of merchandise- and saw a large object hurtle towards him.

Frozen in fright, he could do nothing but tremble.

The piece plunged closer, filling his vision, and- **THABOOOOOOOOM**. A loud, blisteringly hot explosion erupted before him.

Yelping, he curled into a tight ball.

There was a sigh from above, and he found himself being lifted into the air.

"Honestly. Five astro-seconds. You're an absolute _pain_."

Megatron put away his cannon- Primus, it felt good to shoot something, even if it was falling furniture- and regarded the shaking sparkling dangling from his hand, still curled into himself.

"_You_," he sighed. "...You had better be worth this fuss."

With that, he gently placed the quaking Seeker into the crook of one arm, and turned to face the other two wide-opticed sparklings.

"What? It's not like he's going to be walking anywhere like this." He felt like he had to defend himself, and haughtily lifted his chin. "Don't look at me like that."

VOP.

Again, Megatron felt a sudden weight on his helm.

"No...!" Reaching up, he picked the black sparkling off. "No random warping, and _no_ helm-rides, you hear me?"

The sparkling definitely pouted as he was set back onto the floor.

Megatron gently nudged him with a foot. "Move out, mechs."

As he walked past, he felt something attach itself to his leg with a squeak.

"As commendable as your persistence is, _no_ still means _no_." The silver mech disentangled the blue Seeker's talons from his limb.

"Walk, sparklings. Or suffer the silent treatment."

Indignant twitters and cheeps followed him down the corridor.

Sparklinged up, Megatron resolved to finding his way out of this maze.

* * *

Hoorah!

Well, I wonder if Megs knows what he's getting himself into...?

"**THABOOOOOOOOM.**" - Yes, apparently, this is the sound that a fusion cannon makes. Do not question this sound.

And red and blue being heroic... it's kind of true! Think of Spidey, Superman. Red and blue.

Optimus? Red and blue.

Goku? Okay, so he's orange and blue, but orange is _n__early_ red. It just isn't as hardcore, is all.

Bear with me. I promise that I'll try and have cute moments in the next chapter. :D


	2. They're Just Not Normal

Ooph. Well, this took a long time coming. Sorry, all.

I had something important to say, but I can't remember what it was.

Ah, yes. I promised cute moments last chapter. I don't think I managed to get any in, so I apologise. :3 Next time, honestly. I'm so _**useless**_.

This just seemed a good cut-off point.

Also, thank you! I'm really grateful for all of your support. Really and truly, every single add to anything makes me smile. Of course, reviews make me flail in hysteria, but if you don't want me to flail, be that way. :3

Hope you enjoy Chapter Two! xD

P.S! Try not to get confused by the sparklings. I've attempted to make it clear who's doing what, but they have no names still. Whoops.

Maybe soon. Even though I'm _sure _you don't know who they are in adulthood. It's not obvious.

* * *

It was considerably later that Megatron found the exit to the forsaken building.

And no, he didn't find it by conventional means.

After trying and failing to find his way out normally –he was sure that dratted Swindle had _moved_ the building's interior- he was stumped.

Suddenly, he stopped walking.

By now, enough time had passed for the beige sparkling to have recovered slightly from his fright.

Said sparkling chirped, and pointed down a different corridor.

"You sure?" He had nothing to lose anyway, so Megatron headed down the indicated passage, only to discover another dead end.

The large mech sighed. "What a let-down, beige."

He had taken to calling the sparklings by their colours, as they sort of responded.

The sparkling shrieked at him, then pointed again at the wall.

The black Seeker bobbled up and down on the spot, clapping.

The blue just sat there somewhat apathetically.

Megatron turned around with another heavy sigh and began to walk away-

But an excited chirping erupted from his arms, and the beige Seeker wriggled frantically.

"No. After all this, I'm not putting you down. Look what happened last time."

The sparkling screeched angrily.

Megatron merely adjusted his hold. "No."

There was a wail before the other two sparklings joined in, yapping continuously, and bouncing around. It was rather tiring to watch them.

Megatron narrowed his optics. This could turn into a riot. "Enough!"

The beige sparkling whined unhappily, but stopped his protests.

The other two whistled questioningly, but were quietened by a low chirrup.

Megatron looked down, optics still suspiciously narrowed, and found two huge ones gazing back. A long whine preceded a tiny scratch on the mech's hand.

"I'm still not putting you down. That look might work on my brother, but not I. He needs to toughen up, but don't you even think of abusing him."

The sparkling began squeaking loudly and insistently, to which the other Seekers listened attentively.

Megatron rolled his optics and continued down the corridor. "We're leaving."

The mechling in his arms growled and bit him.

Megatron's mouth fell open as his cheek plating twitched.

Faster than Ironhide seeing an excuse for using his cannons, the Seeker squirmed away, dropping to the floor neatly before bounding towards the wall.

"Where exactly do you _plan _on running to...?" Megatron hissed.

The beige sparkling actually sighed at him, then turned back to the wall, tiny movements of his helm indicating that he was looking for something.

He crouched, then tensed his tiny legs before springing up onto the wall, landing on a ridge quite a way up.

His cronies chirped, to which he snapped his tiny fangs decisively, and twittered.

VOP.

Predictably, the black sparkling disappeared, then appeared again, now clinging onto the wall.

The beige Seeker nodded at the blue sparkling, who crawled his way over.

Megatron _should_ have been annoyed. He was, a little, but this was too fascinating. What were they actually doing?

There was a sudden squawk from the black mechling, who was now tapping the wall excitedly.

The blue sparkling flexed his claws, and was about to chirp at the beige Seeker when said mechling gave a tiny huff.

"What in Pit are you- don't you dare jump!"

As the mechling jumped down from the thin ledge, Megatron took an involuntary step forwards.

Upon seeing this, the Seeker whimpered, then landed heavily.

The blue sparkling sprang onto his back, and climbed over his face-to great disgust and displeasure- before reaching up.

The black Seeker strained down to grab his arm, and then pulled him up onto the wall.

With an almost inaudible sigh, Megatron sat down against the wall. He'd let them play for a bit; perhaps they needed to work off excess energy. After all, they were a highly active species. He tilted his helm back, leaning it against the wall.

The black Seeker pressed an audio receptor against the metal, then frowned, moving down slightly before repeating the process. The blue was doing the same, but pressing his hands against the wall instead.

Eventually, he squawked, attracting the attention of the beige sparkling, who leapt up immediately with a squeak. The blue Seeker laid his small hands on the wall, and concentrated, pushing slightly.

Boom.

Megatron shook his helm in irritation, whilst idly checking his claws as the blue sparkling nodded to the beige.

They chattered for a moment before the beige sparkling sighed. They all stared at the wall for a while.

Megatron was busy in mid-yawn when the ring-leader shuffled suddenly, eyeing the floor.

The mech growled. "Don't you _dare_-"

The sparkling had already jumped, and was again caught by surprise. With a squeak, he splatted into the ground.

"Do you have to do that-! What are you, a masochist? _Climb_ down to the floor," Megatron snapped. "You'll hurt yourself."

The sparkling looked back at the wall, then back at him. One optic ridge was raised slightly.

"Right." The silver Cybertronian stood. "If you're old enough for sarcasm, you're old enough to understand several things. One; it's disrespectful to your superiors. Two, I don't like it. And three, we're leaving."

The mechling's optics widened, and he hurried over, squeaking, before latching onto Megatron's foot.

"What do you think you are doing- what?" Megatron demanded, glaring down.

The Seeker screeched and tugged at his foot.

"That's _my_ appendage. You can't have it."

There was a tiny snap of fangs and a thoughtful pause before the sparkling dashed back to the wall, then turned and shrieked at him.

The mech heaved a sigh. "I'm not playing with you."

The sparkling growled.

"Don't growl at _me_, child. I'm not forming a bond with you."

The Seeker snarled, actually slashing the wall with his talons in frustration, before leaping back up.

His fellows chirped at him, but he hissed.

The black mechling jumped, and the other blinked.

The blue sparkling's helm snapped around to glare at Megatron.

"And _you_! Don't give me that look! Move yourselves, we're going."

Megatron turned and started to walk away.

There was silence.

VOP.

The black sparkling landed on his helm, then scrambled to his shoulder.

"You are _all_ deranged-!" Megatron snapped, picking the mechling off and dropping him a short distance to the floor.

The seeker whined and reached for him, but he had already begun to walk away.

VOP.

The black reappeared on his helm before sliding down, putting both hands on the side of Megatron's helm and pushing.

With a sigh, Megatron looked back.

The blue sparkling narrowed his optics before pointing at the wall.

"It's a _wall_. Well done. Wonderful. What do you want, a medal?"

The beige blatantly face-palmed and muttered something.

It was such a Ratchet-y thing to do that Megatron froze for a moment.

The blue mechling scowled, attracting his attention, then jabbed at the wall, still glaring.

Megatron tried to care, he really did.

The sparkling placed both hands on the wall and growled.

Boom.

The sound seemed to originate from the sparkling.

Megatron stared. _What was **with**_ _these Seekers?_

He was about to turn away again-

VOP.

The black mechling landed on his arm, then clawed at it with a yap.

The blue Seeker snapped his teeth and near-on punched the wall.

Boom.

Megatron frowned. Unless they were all attention-starved brats, they clearly were trying to tell him something. He looked for the beige sparkling, who glared at him, then pointed to the wall.

The silver mech made his way over. "What _is_ the problem?"

The other two mechlings ogled at him as if it couldn't be more obvious.

Exasperated, Megatron glanced at the beige Seeker, who was currently sitting in a corner, twiddling his tiny thumbs. "Help me out, here."

The sparkling glared at him again, and pointed at the wall once more.

"What's the problem with the wall? Yes, it's an odd colour, but-"

Boom. The blue sparkling slammed his palm into the wall, and the black pawed his arm.

Megatron clicked. "You want me to blow up the wall? I knew Seekers liked to play rough, but still... fine."

Swiftly firing at the wall, he noticed- a tad too late- that the blue Seeker was still perched _on_ his target.

The explosion crackled, heat blasting outwards.

With a wince, Megatron saw the black sparkling was suddenly sitting behind the beige, wheezing and clutching the blue Seeker. The blue snarled at him.

The mech spread his arms indignantly. "What? I warned you-"

The beige Seeker screwed up his faceplates in disgust- _disgust_- and then crawled over and up the wall to climb through the neat hole.

The other two followed, and Megatron watched them clamber out- then noticed that through the hole, the darkening sky could be seen.

"I've found a way out," he realised, subspacing the useful fusion cannon.

There was a sigh from the other side of the hole.

He carefully demolished more of the wall, then found himself on a sort of ledge, considerably high up, overlooking a city- the more he looked, the more his optic twitched.

He was _sure_ this city wasn't the one he had originally been in when trying to find the Seeker.

This _Swindle_ had a lot to answer for- he was also sure that he hadn't even _been _in this place before.

"Holy _frag_."

Looking down, Megatron saw the Seekers busy pawing at the edge of the building.

"Get _away_ from the edge, you idiots!" Megatron scooped them up quickly. "What happens if you fall?"

The black Seeker's optics bulged, and he made a squelching sound.

"No. You don't squelch. What a disgusting idea."

The beige sparkling squawked angrily, and tried to wriggle out of his arms.

"Do you _want_ to fall to your death?" Megatron asked.

The mechling twitched his tiny wing nubs.

"You can't fly. None of you can."

The black Seeker shifted slightly.

"Don't you dare _VOP_ on me."

As if it was some kind of chain reaction, the blue sparkling heaved at his arm.

Megatron sighed, and dropped them all. "You know what? I don't even care. Tumble to your dooms."

The Seekers bounced once or twice before blinking up at him.

"What? Go on, jump. You might even find your limbs flailing in desperation as you realise I'm right- but by then it will be too late."

The blue and black sparklings looked at the beige. His helm tilted upwards as he regarded Megatron. This gaze was fixed for a while. Eventually, he huffed before tweeting.

Immediately, the black mechling hurled himself at Megatron's foot, jumped onto the top, then proceeded to drool upon it.

"Dirty scoundrel!"

The blue Seeker sighed- glancing at the beige sparkling, who chirped at him- before crawling closer and sitting down by said foot.

Megatron frowned at the beige mechling. "And you?"

The sparkling rolled his optics and didn't move.

"You're staying _here_?"

The Seeker curled his lip derisively.

Megatron paused. What was going on? No matter. There was one thing that he knew. "You are _not _staying here."

There was a definite look of I'll-Do-What-I-Want-To aimed in his direction.

The black Seeker shrieked at Megatron impatiently.

"Come on then- no! Not _there_! You are _not_ sitting on my Primus forsaken HELM!"

The blue sparkling climbed up, then latched onto his back with a tiny huff.

"Move yourself, Seeker," Megatron snarled at the last sparkling.

The beige closed his optics, and lifted his chin.

"Come here!"

Yes, so Megatron was only about four foot away, but he needed to keep some form of authority.

There was an obnoxious sniff.

"That's it, you."

The silver mech plucked him from the ground and firmly squashed him between arm and chassis.

Surprisingly, there was no wriggling or protest, just a slightly surprised squeak.

Wondering if he was crushing him, Megatron relaxed a little, and watched as the Seeker squirmed around until he was cuddling up against his chassis.

The adult then peered over the ledge to contemplate the rather dizzying drop below. "...I don't really like flying."

Unnoticed, the blue sparkling rolled his optics.

The black snorted at him.

"Shut up, you."

And with that, he jumped.

* * *

The blue Seeker giggled deliriously.

"...We're not flying now."

Another hysterical giggle.

"Why are you _still_ laughing-!"

There was a gleeful cackle.

Megatron groaned.

The blue sparkling had shrieked happily the _entire _time they were airborne.

This was not why they had landed.

The black sparkling had blinked in vague interest.

Megatron wished that had been all; shrieking he could cope with. Blinking was perhaps even better.

Petrified wails, he could not.

The beige Seeker had howled the whole descent unrelentingly.

So much so, Megatron had stopped, alighting on a lower building to try and stop the frenzied screeching.

Currently, the sparkling was sobbing, clutching at the mech's chassis.

Megatron tried to get through to him by jiggling.

Optimus liked a jiggle.

Not now, of course.

Well- he didn't know that. Optimus may well like a jiggle now and then.

The sparkling yowled into his armour in a vaguely muffled manner.

"I know I said I didn't like flying, but it's not _that_ bad."

The black Seeker peered over one of his shoulders, and the blue warbled unhappily over the other.

"Oh, Primus. Don't _you _two start."

The black chirped, then quietly climbed onto his helm.

"I CAN FEEL YOU DO IT," Megatron raged, firmly depositing said sparkling onto the shoulder _not _occupied by a blue Seeker.

The beige had quietened enough to sniffle at him.

Megatron decided to just hurry up and get to the ground as quickly as possible, but as he neared the edge again, a spark-wrenching cry ripped from the mechling.

The howls were loud enough for Megatron to wonder if he should mute his audios.

He knew he listened to music loudly, but _still_.

Quickly, he descended to the ground and held the sparkling away from him, so he could notice the floor. "See?"

The Seeker screeched, optics wide, as he desperately flailed his arms to try and get back to the safety of Megatron's chassis.

"Ground," the mech persisted. "Terra firma. Sturdy surface."

He tried to plonk the sparkling onto said sturdy surface, but the Seeker wouldn't let go of his hand.

No matter how hard Megatron tried to put him down, or how often he managed to untangle the tiny talons from him, the mechling just would _not _let go, instead scrabbling hysterically at him.

Nothing helped.

Perhaps the end of the Universe was at hand.

Undoubtedly, chaos would soon follow.

Megatron wondered if he would have time to say goodbye to his nearest and dearest- a sickening phrase, really.

He thought of them fondly.

Optimus, of course, pouting in mock annoyance.

Jazz, sneaking up behind his brother with a large wink of the visor, then diving onto the taller mech.

Even Ratchet, scowling affectionately as he clonked Ironhide over the helm for laughing-

How could that be only yesterday? These unearthly screeches had gone on forever-

A window burst open.

"WILL YOU SHUT YOUR SPARKLING UP?"

Another.

"IT'S A SPARKLING? SOUNDS MORE LIKE-"

Megatron lost count of how many windows opened.

"IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL _ONE_, WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE-!"

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! UNICRON'S HERALD ANNOUNCES HIS MASTER'S IMMINENT ARRIVAL!"

"-JUMPING ON A POOR FEMME LIKE THAT-"

"DON'T EVEN _CONSIDER_ THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR SATISFACTION, DO YOU-"

"MECHS NEVER THINK MORE DEEPLY THAN THEIR-"

Megatron blinked, then glanced down at the crying Seeker, whose wild shrieks nearly drowned out the neighbourhood's opinions.

"I blame _you_."

The mechling trembled and turned to look at him.

Megatron knew that look. It was the "I'm fragged" look commonly employed by anyone facing Ratchet.

"It's alright," he sighed, giving the tiny ridges on the sparkling's helm a scratch.

The Seeker whimpered, but quietened considerably as he clung to a claw.

Megatron let him nibble it for reassurance.

And, it must be admitted, also because whilst you nibble, you can't screech.

He gave the Seeker a small smile. "It's time to take you home."

* * *

Ratchet was waiting for him. "Where in Pit have _youuuu_ been?"

Megatron shushed him hurriedly, wary of his recharging bundles of Seeker.

"You _dare_ shush m- what have you got th... _don't _tell me it's that sparkling. I said no to it being at HQ- and you _still_ went out and-"

"It's not my fault," Megatron hissed. "And don't wake them-"

"You- **_them_**...?" Ratchet's right optic twitched. "Tell me that you just fumbled your grammar."

Megatron considering lying, but it wasn't worth the pain. "...There's three, but-"

Ratchet's fingers twitched. Megatron clocked this nervously. _Stage Two_.

"Hear me out, Ratchet."

"I'll _hear_ you out," the medic snarled, somehow making 'hear' sound like a threat.

Megatron made a mental note to learn how this was done.

"-and then I'll have _my_ say."

It was the emphasis, and the slight extension of the word, dragging it out- therefore bringing more attention to it, and... there was something else.

Ratchet snarled. "You've nothing to say in your defence? Fi-"

"No, no!" Megatron quickly interjected. "I was admiring your tone."

"My tone?"

"The one of impending pain."

"Ah!" The CMO was pleased. "Continue."

"Right. I went to make sure he was okay-"

"You didn't trust me?"

"He was in a _shop._ For _sale_ with some kind of _illegal freak_-"

"I didn't put him there."

"I hadn't accused you."

There was a sudden pounding of feet, and Megatron turned to see Prowl heading his way purposefully.

"Oh, slag."

"Lord Megatron," the tactician began. "I heard you utter the word 'illegal'. Expand upon this."

"You're not even _on_ the night patrol," Ratchet frowned.

"Neither are you, Ratchet. Neither are you."

Megatron twitched, but took advantage of the situation. "Prowl! Just the mech I wanted to see. There is some form of illegal activity currently underway down in Iacon."

Ratchet sniggered. "When _isn't_ there?"

"When I'm doing my duty efficiently," Prowl announced. "What kind of activities?"

"Could you give me a list?"

"Certainly-"

Ratchet intervened. "Only prisonable offences, Prowl. Not what you think _should_ be illegal, nor what offences you currently hold offensive-"

"I know what an illegal offence is, medic." Prowl turned a frosty gaze upon him before turning back to Megatron. "...Smuggling, murder, armed robbery, damaging of state property, mugging, provoking civil uprising, dealings, kidnappings, revolts, stealing, extortion, assault, gang warf-"

"...The first one, I suppose."

Ratchet threw his hands into the air.

"Might be kidnapping, too- I didn't really ask. Selling sparklings, Prowl. Is this-"

"Selling_ sparklings-_" Prowl immediately activated his comm. and spoke urgently.

Ratchet pursed his lips. "So someone was trying to sell him to you?"

"Yes."

"You paid for him?"

"No..."

"So you stole him from the criminal?"

"I stole _no one_. He was given to me on account of his behaviour."

The medic shuddered angrily. "Oh, _goodo. _That's just what we need. A trouble-maker. He can't stay, Megatron."

"...At the very least check him over. I swear he's got something wrong with him."

"Wrong?" Ratchet immediately took the recharging sparkling.

"He doesn't like flying-"

Ratchet scowled. "You sure?"

"That's the _impression_ I gleaned."

"And the others?"

"They loved it." Megatron handed the other Seekers over.

"...Why am I the one holding _your_ responsibilities?"

"Because you know what to do with them."

"Did you, or did you _not_ have a sparkling brother?"

"Yeaasss... but they're _Seekers._"

"That's _completely _racist. Only their anatomy is slightly different."

"They're also utterly deranged," Megatron snapped. "THAT one randomly teleports onto _helms_. THAT one likes to...to scowl and BOOM things, and THAT one is almost as sarcastic as _you_."

"Sounds like you know them well."

Prowl suddenly whipped around. "Teleports?"

"Yes, Prowl. They're all freaky."

The black and white mech snapped his fingers after a moment's thought. "...I knew I'd heard of this somewhere. They're missing."

"You don't _say_, Prowl."

Said mech ignored Ratchet again. "Someone filed a report in about a teleporting sparkling going missing."

"Well, it's no great surprise," Ratchet shrugged. "It's not like you can keep him with you."

"So how is it they can do these things _anyway_?" Megatron wondered.

"Well, one of them at least was at the raid the other day. Sparkling testing?" The CMO guessed.

"No, it wasn't experiments. That's the oddest part. They were _sparked _with unique abilities." Prowl expanded.

_"Unicron is upon us_," Megatron muttered, heeding the prophecy howled at him earlier. "How do you know?"

"I know these things," Prowl replied, "for I know all."

"So these two are missing as well?"

"They match up to descriptions. One has some kind of sound manipulation ability, and the other is a reputed sparkling genius."

"Sound manipulation? What the slag do you mean by _that_?"

"H-"

Megatron interrupted. "It doesn't really matter right now. Prowl; make sure that _idiot_ is arrested and the other sparklings are safe." He paused. "Make the arrest as painful as possible. Then, get back to me on the origin of these three. Ratchet, get a _move_ on."

Ratchet huffed at him, but walked towards his medbay, trying to balance the Seekers.

Prowl nodded, then hurried away.

"Megatron! Get over here. I don't see why I should carry them- I don't even _see_ how you can carry them all at once."

The big mech hurried over. "Yes, Ratch."

"Stop trying to get on my nice side."

A new voice floated back to them from the medbay. "You have one, Ratchet?"

"Silence, Ironhide."

They entered the medbay to see Ironhide relaxing on a berth.

The bulky black mech snorted as he caught sight of Megatron. "Where have _you_ been?"

"He's been saving the world, one sparkling at a time," Ratchet scowled, deftly placing the Seekers on a berth.

"**SPARKLINGS**-?"

All three mechlings immediately woke.

"...Good one, _fool_!"

"Close the door _now_, Ratchet," Megatron ordered.

Ironhide winced. "It can't be that bad. They're not old enough to walk or anything-"

"They don't _need_ to," Megatron growled. "They VOP and BOOM."

Ratchet looked at him, then bent his finger, indicating he should bend down.

Megatron did so, only for Ratchet to feel his forehelm. "What are you doing?"

"I thought you were insane and might have a feverish temperature, but it turns out it's just _you_. And I'm not reducing myself to standing on something or on tiptoes to reach you _just_ because you're stupidly large."

The blue sparkling frowned suspiciously, and edged in front of the others, glancing at the beige.

The black bit his lip and chirped, then quietly reached for the beige mechling's hand.

Megatron realised that if the beige could be swayed, life might be so chaotic. "Him."

"Who?"

"_Whohim_?" Ironhide screwed up his faceplates.

"_That _one. Beige."

"Beige? Oh, beige. He's the trine leader?"

"The what?"

"You must have heard of it," Ironhide snorted. "Even _I_ know-"

Ratchet sighed and approached the sparklings.

Megatron waved his arms frantically. "No, no, don't do that, they'll-"

The medic was kneeling by the berth, speaking in a soft voice, and offering them a finger.

The blue Seeker yapped, and turned to the others.

The beige sparkling tilted his helm slightly before twittering.

A brief pause preceded said beige sparkling's cautious crawl forwards. He glanced up at Ratchet- who was just above him- then, cat-like, rubbed his small back against the finger with a purr, before nibbling on it contentedly.

The other Seekers followed, investigating the interesting appendage with varying chirps and clicks.

Ratchet relaxed. "We're fine. No thanks to _you_ or _you_," he added menacingly.

Ironhide huffed. "I didn't realise that there were sparklings."

"The word you shouted to _wake_ them up was 'sparklings'. Are you telling me that you just shouted out 'sparklings' at random?"

"...Yes."

Megatron gawped. "What did _I_ do?"

"Slow and steady wins the Seeker, twerp. You can't just go around flailing your arms and shouting uselessly. I _suggest_ you go away, find a book on Seeker behaviour and _read_ it thoroughly before returning here tomorrow morning- at which point you will _take_ these sparklings and look after them until Prowl comes back with the information we need to get them back home. Are we _clear_?"

The Lord High Protector blinked, stunned by how belittled and useless and threatened he suddenly felt. "Yes?"

"I _thought_ we would be." Ratchet turned back to the Seekers as one commandeered his helm.

Ironhide snickered. "You're going back?"

"As if," Megatron muttered quietly.

"I heard that, youngling." Ratchet snarled, sharp audios still sharp. "If you want to retain the ability to-"

"I lied, Glorious Ratchet! I didn't mean it- I will certainly return to your kingdom."

"You'd _better_. Or I'll come find _you_."

Megatron quickly exited, then poked his helm back around the door. "Look after them-"

"HOW ABOUT I DON'T IF YOU KEEP TELLING ME HOW TO DO MY JOB?"

"I'm gone!"

"What did _you_ want," Ratchet demanded of Ironhide.

The black mech shuffled. "Well... earlier, Optimus fell over... and he might have damaged his-"

Jazz burst through the door. "Wazzzzuuuup..."

They stared at him for a moment, then resumed conversation.

"So Optimus fell?"

"That was _hilarious_," Jazz choked suddenly. "Ironhide shoved Prime to the floor because he thought someone shot a missile at him- turns out it was a can of-"

Ratchet needed to hear no more. "You _pushed__ **Optimus Prime**_ over."

"Well, yes, but-"

"Not done," Jazz giggled. "Not only did Ironhide push him over, Optimus was training with his swords at the time. He only went and _impaled _himself on one-"

He broke off, wheezing with giddy joy.

Ratchet twitched. "You _pushed_ **_Optimus Prime_** over... and he _skewered_ himself."

"Swords are dangerous and sharp," Ironhide justified.

"The look on your _face_," Jazz cackled. "Not to mention the way Prime was too scared to come see you, Ratch. He was afraid you might-"

"...kill Ironhide?"

The saboteur thought. "Maybe."

"You... will stay here," Ratchet snarled, pointing at Ironhide. "Jazz, fetch me Optimus. I don't care what you have to do."

Jazz steepled his fingers, then tapped the ends together. A smile lit up his face. "Will do, doc."

Ratchet turned around, fuming, to see the sparklings gaping. "This is an _ordinary_ day, Seekers. This is my _life_. Crazed lunatics all around. Useless..."

The beige frowned at him, so he decided to elaborate.

"One: trigger-happy paranoid _idiot _of a bodyguard. Two: giggling, over-enthusiastic and depressingly cheerful spy. Three: someone who depends on logic so much they don't even know what the word 'imagination' means. Four: a Prime who can't do _anything _because everyone mollycoddles him. Five: a Lord High Protector who _insists_ on doing whatever isn't _done_."

There was some confusion blinking back at him. And from behind him, too.

"What, Ratchet?"

"That _speech_ that our esteemed Lord gave earlier. You know the one. The one calling the media 'losers'-"

"Thought it was good," Ironhide sniffed.

"You _would_, Ironhide. You don't have to try and sort out the mess he's made."

"Eh, you don't either. You're liaison to the Ancients, not the media."

"Thank you for reminding me- I didn't know." Ratchet glared. "You can't go around insulting the media!"

"It's not like anyone cares! Just about everyone wants to give those irritating _fraggers _a well-deserv-"

"Sparklings!"

Ironhide tried to reverse. "..Those, uh, naughty individuals...?"

Ratchet nodded in approval.

"...Yes. Give those naughty individuals a well-deserved... um... oh, just blow the slaggers to Pit."

Ratchet twitched, but managed to control himself with the thought that Ironhide was going to be in pain for Optimus' 'accident' anyway. "Something bad will come of it, Ironhide."

"Out of my use of bad language?"

"_No._"

Ironhide sighed, with a glance at the Seekers. "...I hope you're wrong."

"You always hope I'm wrong."

"Well, don't you?"

Ratchet sighed, and poked the black mechling, who giggled, and licked his finger. "Sure do, 'hide. Sure do."

* * *

Lubb you, **Clumsy Peg. :3**

Everybody, go and read her fics. They are truly amazing.

Hope you liked! xD


	3. Libraries And Name Giving

I'm on fire, I really am. See these major updating skills? :D I decided that this fic was in major need of an update. Who knows which will be next? :)

It is likely that this will be the last update for another while as I return to my studies. :P Exams; in a couple of weeks. o_O

I'll be back by the end of January, promise!

Okay, so, yeah. I have some things to mention.

**Thank you all so much for your fantastic reviews!** I tell you, they certainly give me the inspiration to continue. Thank you.

And secondly, Ratchet likes needles later on in the chapter. I'll admit that I have had no personal experience of Cybertronian medicine, and do not have the imagination to think something up. So yeah, there's going to be human parallels. :D

And books. I must tell you that these books ahead are not made of paper. Paper is FLIMSY. No, it's some sort of metallicy material.

I know; just think of anything the Cybertronians have as way superior to humans. Easy, right?

(This is totally why I'm not writing TF3. Even Orci & Kurtzman have some semblance of reason.)

Just suspend all logic, alright? Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Ratchet, Megatron decided, was too scary for his own good. He had spent absolutely _ages_ searching for some kind of book on Seekers, and had found _nothing_. _Nothing_. This was possibly because Seekers were a rare sort, especially around these parts. He hadn't even seen any living Seekers, so he couldn't even ask one (not that he was sure of what he would say. '_Hi, there. Three sparklings of your race have been thrust upon me and I was hoping that you'd have some sort of guide to help me out_?' seemed a little upfront and personal). No, Megatron concluded. He had found nothing, seen nobody, and was starting to fear for his health.

One last resort, however: the library. He hadn't been there in a very long time, but it was worth a shot. Anything was.

Standing just outside the entrance, Megatron glanced up into the sky and saw that the sun would soon be rising. His time was almost up. He found himself praying that Ratchet wouldn't kill him too painfully if he couldn't find anything. The fear of Ratchet would thrust resolve into anyone, so in he strode without hesitation.

The library was essentially a circular building. A very large, circular building that - Megatron was convinced- was also a maze. Tall shelves overlapped and intertwined, crossing the floor in the most bizarre spiral design. There were actually several floors- fifty-nine to be exact- with a staircase twisting around the perimeter of the room. An uncountable number of books were integrated on shelves in the actual outer wall itself.

Books were _everywhere_, and it was for precisely this reason that Megatron was completely stuck. How did one commence a search for something that was all around you? With a sigh, he ventured into the main spiral. "Now," he muttered, scanning the shelves in a vaguely hopeful manner. "Would you be under 'S' for _Seekers_? 'G' for _Guide_? 'H' for _help_?"

"Help?" somebody grunted, emerging from around the corner.

Megatron blinked. "I was just musing to myself."

"Hm. Do you _need_ help?"

Honestly, Megatron wasn't sure this dangerous looking individual wanted to give him any. But, then again, he was pretty desperate. "...Yes."

The hulking stranger said nothing, but blinked moodily in acknowledgement. Megatron presumed it was acknowledgement.

"I'm looking for a book," he began, before realising that this was possibly The Most Pointless Thing To Say In A Library. He continued quickly. "A book about Seekers."

The mech sighed, then walked past with a jerk of the helm that indicated he should follow- so he did, and was led back the way he had come. He watched as the creamish sandy-brown mech seated himself upon a chair by the desk.

Megatron waited unusually patiently for a minute as the other sat there, motionless. "...Hello?"

"Oh. You're still here."

"Are you actually going to be of assistance?" Megatron was struck by sudden doubts. "Do you even _work_ here?"

The scowling mech pointed at his chassis.

"...Bonecrusher. _Lovely_ name," Megatron growled, glaring at the name label.

"Don't raise your voice," Bonecrusher glowered. "We are in a _library_."

"_Great_."

Bonecrusher scrawled something on a data-pad.

Megatron scowled. "Seriously, are you-"

"No angry looks, if you please. You'll damage the books with your dangerous vibes, not to mention the fragile atmosphere."

Repressing rudely witty comments on fragile atmospheres and dangerous vibes, the silver mech looked around in frustration. _Press the generically red button if you want assistance, _a plaque read. Perhaps someone with a working processor would come along. Extending a claw, he prodded the button firmly.

Bonecrusher looked up. "Can I help you?"

"Oh, honestly." He pressed the button again in the hope that someone _else_ would appear, then marvelled. "That feels so good!"

"Squidgy, isn't it?" Bonecrusher agreed. "I could poke it all orn."

"I could touch it for longer than that."

"I'll be with you in just one moment," the creamish sandy-brown mech announced. "I just need to finish filling this order form in."

Megatron stole a glance at the data-pad. "...Odd name."

Bonecrusher agreed. "I've never even seen the mech, so he might be as odd as he sounds."

"The _Fallen_," Megatron pondered aloud. "Could be a nickname from his friends. Is he a regular?"

"Well, he keeps to himself, but orders fairly often."

"What does a mech read if his name is _The Fallen_?"

Bonecrusher's optics flicked up the data-pad. "..._Scheming for Evil Masterminds_ and_ How to Remain Utterly Subtle Whilst Planning Devastation and Anarchy._"

"...Cheerful stuff."

Bonecrusher scrolled up the document to check previous orders. "Last time it was _How to Pick an Apprentice._ Maybe he's writing the next bestseller."

"Sounds more like it could be a film to me," Megatron shrugged.

The other Cybertronian put aside his pen carefully. "How may I assist you?"

"I'm in a bit of an awkward position," the silver mech admitted. "And I need a guide that will help me look after a Seeker. A little one."

"A seekerlet?" Bonecrusher tapped his fingers together with a slight frown before his optics lit up brightly. "Floor twenty-four, Foxtrot Beta, seventh bookshelf along the bend, shelf second from the top."

Megatron nodded slowly. "...Right."

"Need further assistance, just call for me. Look on the floor," Bonecrusher added mysteriously.

Megatron determinedly turned and approached the staircase. Floor twenty-four it was, then. Now, technically, there was no physical floor but the ground level. However, the bookshelves along the stairway were definitely _not _on the ground floor. In addition, the stairway wasn't continuously ascending, and there were level sections. These flat areas were your floors.

Somehow, if Megatron remembered correctly, smaller walkways could extend off of the main stairway. He couldn't actually recall how to activate them- when he had last been in, various passcodes were necessary for each- but they allowed one to browse the ridiculously high ground level bookshelves. It was actually all quite clever, if not bamboozling to behold.

Megatron was sure he would have appreciated it more as a youngling had he not had Optimus to look after. Being as it was that there were _no_ handrails- why? why?- sparkling-Optimus had enjoyed scaring his brother by standing perilously close to the stairs edge on his untrustworthy legs.

And jumping off.

Alright, so Megatron had caught him every time, but this wasn't the point. All he could presently see- wherever he looked- was a tiny blue and red sparkling considering testing his brother's reflexes. Megatron shook his helm with a huff, and Apparition-Optimus disappeared- only to reappear a little further up the staircase.

Sighing, Megatron began his ascent. "Why the sparkling books aren't on the ground floor, I _don't _know," he grumped to Apparition-Optimus, who beamed at him.

It was a very long walk to the twenty-fourth floor. Apparition-Optimus had contemplated jumping thirty-two times and Megatron was feeling pretty suicidal himself. However, _finally_ reaching the level walkway indicating the right floor, he started looking for Foxtrot Beta. After a search, Megatron discovered that the desired section was actually in the centre of the library- or more accurately, on the bookshelves originating from the ground floor. The ones that could not be reached from the main staircase, to be exact. With a bite of the lip, he glanced over the edge. As he has suspected, it was a long way down. How a bookshelf could even _be_ so tall, he didn't know.

"What now, Optimus? This bit is new to me."

Apparition-Optimus disappeared and reappeared by the edge with a giggle, then pouted.

Recognising the look, Megatron sighed and went to him. The instant he stepped near the edge, a translucent walkway unfolded before him, stretching to the main spiral of bookshelves. Megatron gingerly stepped onto it, then glanced down. Clearly the library wasn't too busy, as he could see right down the ground floor- and to the very domed top of the building. No other walkways in use, apparently. Hopefully this wasn't because they disappeared after a certain amount of time and sent you tumbling to your doom.

Noting that the sun had begun to rise, Megatron continued on his quest, navigating his way around the spiral, Apparition-Optimus toddling just ahead of him. After a brief journey, Apparition-Optimus suddenly stopped.

"Foxtrot...Beta!" Megatron read with delight. "Aren't you a clever little Prime?"

There was a nod before Apparition-Optimus glanced upwards.

"Second from the top?" Megatron muttered, eyeing the monolith bookshelf before him. "I can't reach that!"

Apparition-Optimus pointed to the floor, and Megatron saw a strip running along the surface. Leaning down, he pressed it. "...I don't even want to know how you know so much. I assume this should call Bonecrusher-"

"It does," Bonecrusher replied slightly unexpectedly.

Megatron subspaced the fusion cannon that had materialised on reflex. "How did you-"

"I despise inefficiency."

"...Right." Suspending all logic, Megatron pointed a claw upwards. "I can't reach that shelf."

Bonecrusher eyed it. "Nor can I. Normally I reach like _so-" _Managing to alarm the silver mech yet again, a fork unfolded from Bonecrusher's back and extended to delicately select a book from a high shelf. "...but the second from highest is beyond my reach."

Megatron considered all of the options. "I could fly up."

"_You_ can fly?"

"...Would I say it if I couldn't? It seems to be the only choice."

"The flight-capables do tend to do it," Bonecrusher revealed. "But under no circumstance incinerate these shelves with your thrusters."

"...why on _Cybertron_ would I do that?"

"I don't know. But I've got a feeling it's going to happen one day, and I _hate_ vandals."

Megatron shared a worried look with Apparition-Optimus before flying up. "...Here?" Listening, he definitely saw Bonecrusher reply, but couldn't hear what the other mech had said. "What?"

Bonecrusher's optics narrowed dangerously, and Megatron remembered that they were in a _library_. There would be no shouting or raised voices. Glancing up, he saw the next floor a little way above him, and decided to ascend to just below this height. That would provide him with the shelves near the top of floor twenty-four. "Why aren't they even _labelled_?"

Sighing, he examined the books. Oddly, there wasn't very much. A couple of those hideous historical textbook types, some on language, and some beautifully illustrated books that Megatron was sorry he didn't have time to read. There seemed to be just one dusty and battered book on Seeker behaviour, however, so he returned to Bonecrusher with it.

"You found something?"

"There really is almost nothing there. Do you know if anyone's taken some out already?"

"..._Dayshift_," Bonecrusher spat, almost as if it were a curse. "It'll be _dayshift_."

Megatron decided not to enquire further, and they started walking back.

"...Who were you talking to? I heard you speaking, you see," Bonecrusher frowned.

"My brother," Megatron replied, instinctively glancing downwards. It was strangely sad to discover that Apparition-Optimus was nowhere to be seen. "Not that he's here- oh, now I sound psychotic."

"Mental Diseases, floor forty. I'm well acquainted with the level. I could give you the exact titl-"

"Maybe another time?"

"Oh, alright." Bonecrusher seemed pleased. "What's your brother called?"

"Optimus," Megatron answered automatically, his attentions diverted by the walkway disappearing back into the staircase as they stepped off of it.

Bonecrusher didn't even blink. "Nice name."

"...Yeasss- you don't know either of us?"

"No. I don't know many people, really. I keep to myself."

Megatron considered this, and wasn't sure if it was such a bad thing not to be known. At least Bonecrusher wasn't pretending to like him or doing what he said simply _because_ of his status.

"Ah! I'll show you my collection!" Bonecrusher brightened.

"I don't have much time," Megatron began. "I really must leave."

"It'll only take a moment, and it's on our way."

Megatron resisted the urge to transform and have a speedier exit. They continued down the stairs and eventually came to the ground floor. Bonecrusher led him behind the desk and opened a door. They both peeked inside and Bonecrusher gestured proudly around a room full of mounted body parts, namely thrusters. "If someone vandalises a book, I make sure they don't do it again."

Megatron's entire body twitched. "...I must go."

"I'll find you if you damage that book."

"Would I _do_ such a thing? Do you seriously _not_ know me?"

"The only people I know are my friends back there." Bonecrusher nodded at his collection room. "_Should_ I know you?"

Megatron wondered if he should get Prowl and Ratchet to check the library out. He was sure collecting limbs was illegal and Ratchet needed to meet someone as deranged as he. "...I'll just take this book then."

"Very well."

"Bring your brother sometime," Bonecrusher added, "As long as he isn't a vandal. I hate sparkling vandals."

Megatron hurried out of the library. He had an hour or two before Ratchet was at liberty to dismantle him, and planned to spend it well. He would-

Glancing at the book from the library, he had the sudden feeling he'd seen it before. And, with a growling sigh of frustration, he realised he had. It was simply an earlier edition of the book Swindle had given him.

It seemed that the world was against him. However, resigning himself to his fate was unacceptable. Megatron proudly lifted his chin and snorted derisively at... well, anything against him. He was not one to _bow_ to life, no.

Unwillingly to Ratchet, maybe, but not to life.

So it was that Megatron alarmed some passers-by with his derisive snorting and so it was that he strode back to the main base with a determined air. So it was that he sat down in the rec. room and so it was that he pulled both books out of subspace.

So it was that he discovered that the older version had scribblings all over it- some of it helpful, some of it just plain rude. Happily, it seemed like the guide was a good one, so he began to read whilst remaining very conscious of the time. Unhappily, it also seemed that someone else was oblivious to his danger.

"Hiya, Megsy!"

The mech closed his optics wearily. "Hello, Jazz."

The saboteur threw himself onto the seat Megatron was currently occupying. "Whatcha doing?"

"...Something very important." Megatron replied, then continued reading.

He saw Jazz's helm slowly loom closer as the mech read the cover. Silver antennae twitched. "Seekers? Why you reading 'bout them?"

"None of your business," Megatron hit him fairly gently with the book. "Don't you have someone to annoy?"

"...Today is _your_ day," Jazz beamed, flinging out his arms.

"Hurrah. I really need to read this, you know. Do you want Ratchet to hurt me?"

"I did not understand the gravity of the situation," the saboteur gasped. "I apologise." He sat, twiddling his fingers, and watched the perfectly concentrating Megatron for a while. "...Megatronnnnnn..."

"Yes, Jazz?" The other mech didn't even look up.

"Why are you reading about Seeeeeeeekers?"

"Because I have to."

Jazz considered this new information. "...Why do you have toooooooooooo?"

"Like I said, none of your business."

The saboteur sulked for a while before brightening. "I knew a Seeker not so long ago!"

Megatron was suddenly interested. "Really?"

"Yep."

"Where could I find him?"

"Absolutely no idea."

"...You don't know?"

"I only knew him for a minute or so," Jazz sniffed. "Little thing he was. So small and cute. He could have been a mini-Jazz, you know-!"

Megatron sighed and continued reading.

"Don't you even _care_? He was so beautiful! I can't believe you just let Ratchet take him away!"

"Yes," Megatron agreed monotonically. "I can't believe it."

Jazz's somewhat incredible processor set to work, and he narrowed his optics. "You're reading a book on Seekers."

"So I am," the other mech agreed.

"That sparkling was a Seeker."

"...So he was."

"...You don't even care what happened to him."

"I d-! Where are you going with this?"

Jazz jumped to his feet triumphantly. "Where is he?"

Megatron froze. "...Excuse me?"

"The Seeker! Where is he?" Jazz dropped to the floor and began scanning under chairs.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do! You've got that Seeker somewhere, and I _will_ find him."

Megatron contemplated locking the saboteur in a cupboard, or better still, knocking him out and locking him in a cupboard. "You're insane."

"No, you are! That's why y'fear Ratchy! Because he's going to tear you apart once he finds out!" Jazz lifted Megatron's arm as if the Seeker could be hiding there.

Megatron's claws spasmed. "Put my arm _down_."

"Ah, am I close? Say hot or cold!" Jazz dived onto the mech's lap and started searching behind his back.

"You're about to die."

"...I'd say that was fairly hot! Boiling, in fact!"

"No, just very irritating."

"Like a _heated_ rash?" Jazz was somehow sandwiched between the back of the seat and Megatron, upside-down.

Megatron suddenly realised that he definitely had somewhere to be, so he stood. "Goodbye, Jazz."

The small mech clung onto his waist. "Megsy, no! Where is he?"

Megatron suddenly felt an urge to be evil overcome him. "I left him with Prowl."

"Prowl?" Jazz frowned. "You gave a sparkling to _Prowl_?"

"No safer place."

The saboteur instantly let go and bounced onto his own feet before racing away. "PRRRROOOWLIE!"

Megatron commed the poor mech immediately as he headed for the medbay. "Prowl, wherever you are, **run**."

/_...Jazz?_/ Prowl sounded horrified. /_How long do I have?_/

"He's already gone."

/_Curses. This time I'm going to make it hard. He won't find me so easily._/

Wishing him all the luck in the Universe, Megatron found himself at the medbay. Entering, he met with Ratchet's glare. "I'm not late!"

"Neither are you early," the CMO hissed, some sort of medical tool in hand.

"Doesn't that mean he's on time?"

"Optimus?" Megatron blinked. "What are you doing here?"

The pouting Prime wiggled his fingers in a wave. "_Jazz_ tricked me."

Megatron remembered that Optimus had previously stabbed himself and hurried to him. "Are you alright?"

"Fine, fine. It's a load of fussing about noth**_iiing_**_!_" Optimus cringed as Ratchet poked one of his injuries.

"_Nothing_?" the CMO scowled. "You call _multiple_ stab wounds _nothing?_"

"They're hardly multiple," Prime replied miserably. "Only two."

"Which is _more than one_."

"But-"

"_No_. I'm going to have words with Ironhide, _and _words with you once I've finished."

"...Yes, Ratch," Optimus sighed, glancing at Ironhide. The black mech was sitting on a berth despondently. "It's okay, 'hide! Ratch says I'm not dying!"

"You could be," Ironhide muttered. "This is my fault."

"It isn't, not really!" Prime suddenly realised that Megatron was in the _medbay_. "Megsy- what are you doing here? Are you injured?"

"No, I'm fine-"

"He has come because he is a failure," Ratchet explained.

"I am not a failure! None of it was my fault!" Megatron saw a confused Optimus blink. "...I-"

"So are you going to blame the _sparkling_?"

Megatron pouted at Ratchet. "Yes, I am. It _is_ his fault."

Prime was wide-opticed. "You have a sparkling? You never said!"

"That is because I never did."

"But- oh, I'm confused."

Megatron realised an explanation would be easier if the Seekers were around. "...Where are they, Ratch?"

"I killed them and used their parts to decorate my room." The CMO didn't even look away from Optimus' injury.

Optimus' optics widened again. "Ratch!"

"Not really. I did, after a short period of observation, lock them in my office."

"Because they didn't recharge," Ironhide pointed out.

"This is true. I blame some loud idiot for that." Ratchet patched a gaping split in Optimus' abdomen. "Go and check on the beasts, will you?"

Megatron beat a hasty retreat to the CMO's office and opened the door. "...Where are they?"

"The incubator," Ratchet replied.

"An _incubator_? _Why_? To stop them wandering off?"

"Are they in isolation because they're _diseased_?" Ironhide asked, frowning. "If they are, they're not coming near Optimus until you're _sure _that they're healthy."

"I want to keep them in a constant environment," Ratchet hissed. "And protect them from various problems such as infection or over-handling from _certain mechs on base_. And, if you _must_ know, it is far easier to observe them, thus allowing me to assess their conditions accurately."

"Infections, Ratch? In your medbay? It must be a filthy place," Ironhide sniggered.

A sour Ratchet glared intensely at one of Optimus' wounds. "The only filth that comes in here totes cannons."

Megatron scowled. "Meaning who?"

Ratchet looked at them both, cackled, then returned to his work.

"I also have a cannon!" Optimus remembered. "I have _two!_"

Ironhide cuffed him gently. "We'll stick to one weapon at a time for now."

"...One orn I'll kick your aft. And yours, too." Prime raised a mock-angry fist at Megatron. "But not you, Ratchet."

"Wise move. Be _quiet_, Megatron. The incubator deafens most sound, but _you_ don't seem to have limitations on noise levels. I know it's too much to ask, but they might be recharging."

Megatron _quietly_ entered the office and looked around, the incubator catching his optics almost instantly. Well, it had to be the incubator, unless Ratchet kept Seekers in random places for fun. Deciding not to let his processor dwell on this thought, he crossed the room. The incubator was built into the wall, the side facing Megatron transparent, presumably so Ratchet could watch them for fu-

No. With a vicious shake of the helm, Megatron reminded his processor that Ratchet did not take fun in beings suffering. Not sparklings, anyway- and assumedly these sparklings were not suffering. He wouldn't put much past Ratchet, though. He had once discovered sparkling-Optimus in _stasis cuffs_. Ratchet's 'excuse' had been that he had been too hyper.

Never mind. Megatron peered in and was relieved to count _three_ Seekers (phew) in a sort of bundle in a corner. The blue and black sparklings were curled up around each other, the latter chewing the blue's aft gently in recharge. Wide-awake and huddled between them both, the beige Seeker looked torn between fear and misery.

Upon seeing Megatron, his optics widened and he drew back between the others.

"Hello, you," the mech rumbled softly, tapping the window gently. "...You probably don't remember me, but I'm a friend of Ratchet's. Not that he has friends." He could see the mechling observing him closely and decided to sit it out. Looking around for a suitable spot, he saw Ratchet's desk and eyed it suspiciously before leaning on it in a mechly fashion. "I'll wait for you. As long as it takes."

Helm tilting slightly to one side, the sparkling blinked, then wriggled out of the Seeker-bundle. Sitting up on his haunches for a moment, he then navigated his way on all fours to the front of the incubator. Megatron watched as he bumped into the transparent wall and sneezed, then ferociously glared at the wall as if it had personally offended him. Personal offences placed aside for the moment, he returned his attentions to the outside world and re-saw Megatron. After shrinking away briefly, the mechling narrowed his optics a little and seemed to pout, reaching out to scratch on the barrier. Megatron was sure he heard a whine.

"...Ratch?"

"What _now_?" The CMO sounded a little terse. Perhaps Ironhide had not let up on the insults.

"Can I get one out?"

"Is he recharging?"

"No."

"Did you wake him _purposely_?"

"No!" Megatron hissed indignantly.

"Fine, then. But not for long."

"...How does this open?" The silver mech muttered to himself, eyeing the incubator.

The Seeker scratched the window impatiently.

"Stop, you. I'm working on it." Megatron noticed a small indent on the wall beside it. "Ah."

As he pressed it, most of the window slowly slid downwards into the wall. The sparkling immediately tried to jump out, but failed miserably and rebounded off of the window, landing on his aft.

"The window doesn't all disappear because then we could fall out and smack onto the floor," Megatron realised. "...Or jump out."

The Seeker (now audible, hurrah) shrieked at him and clawed frantically at the window again.

Megatron (remembering the advice in the guide) slowly reached in. The sparkling did cringe momentarily, but protested no further as he was gently lifted out. Megatron poked the indent again and made sure that the window fully closed on the snoozling seekerlets within. Turning his full attentions to the beige, he waved a claw in its face. "_No_ biting."

The Seeker immediately tried to lunge for his claw with a tiny growl.

Megatron prodded his face. "I just said _no_."

The mechling frowned and opened his mouth. Some sort of creaking yowling noise came forth.

Megatron raised an optic ridge. "That was _nice_."

A confused sort of look was the response he gained, so Megatron brought the sparkling into a more comfortable position by his chassis. "Better?"

There was a surprised squeak before the mechling hurriedly- yet nervously- snuggled into him. The yowly-creaky noise arose again, but much more softly.

"Shall we go and see Ratchet? Optimus is there too, you know."

The sparkling didn't seem to care at all, but Megatron exited the office anyway.

Ratchet finally looked up from his Optimus-patching. "I might have known. You and that beige _thing_ are like magnets."

Prime looked up from being Ratchet-patched. "That's the _sparkling_? ...I swear he's familiar."

"He is," Megatron clarified. "He was at that facility we raided."

"Why is he here?"

"A very good question," Ratchet muttered darkly.

"I couldn't leave him with that lunatic," Megatron justified. "Besides, once his family are found, there won't be a problem."

"He's not staying?" Prime was getting confused.

Megatron shook his helm. "Only until he can go home."

"He can be home now!" Optimus beseeched, instantly giving Ratchet an intense dosage of Large Pleading Optics.

"What, and his little friends too? No."

"Friends?" Optimus mouthed over Ratchet's helm.

Megatron held up two claws.

"Only two! And we can bring them up- they'll be perfect additions to our family," Prime continued. "Ironhide, just think how useful a couple of Seekers would be!"

"...They'd be good target practice," the black mech nodded. "There's not many aerial targets around here."

Ratchet rolled his optics. "Just think how fun it would be to raise _three_ sparklings at once around a militant base."

"You backing away from a challenge, Ratch?"

"Do not test me, _Optimus_. They have families who are looking for them."

Prime sighed. "And if nobody comes? What _then_?"

"I suppose arrangements will have to be made. _Elsewhere._"

Somebody howled from the corridor. "**_Ratchyyyyyy_**_!_"

"Oh, Pit. _Office,_" the CMO hissed.

Megatron didn't need a second invitation and dived in.

Jazz skidded into the medbay an astro-second later. "...Is Prowlie hidin' in here?"

"No."

"In y'office?"

"Go near my office and I shall make sure your mother receives all of your parts in a small box."

"...I'll leave that office. Have y'seen him?"

"Your deranged competitions with Prowl are none of my concern, and nor will I help either of you."

Jazz retreated to the door, scanning the room one last time. "...Would y'know if he'd sneaked in?"

"JAZZ! _Go_!"

As the saboteur wisely disappeared, Megatron glanced at the sparkling who looked slightly horrified. "Ratchet does have a nice side, you know. Just be cute and stay on the right side of him."

"Bring him back here," the CMO demanded. "_Immediately_."

With a roll of the optics, Megatron did so. "He's jumpy. I'd watch your Wrath around him."

"Pehh."

Optimus watched the sparkling curiously. "What's his name?"

Megatron was determined to show off some of his new knowledge. "Traditionally, Seekers don't get names until a later point in development. Their names are given to them according to their individual styles."

Ratchet blinked. "I'm almost impressed."

That was damn near praise from the mech.

"Thank you."

"Oh, but surely!" Optimus was excited. "Can't we give them names?"

"They have names." Megatron replied indignantly. "This one is _beige_."

The Seeker squawked.

Ironhide snorted. "Good one."

"At least temporarily," Prime pleaded.

"Their parents would not be happy." Ratchet firmly ended the conversation.

Optimus wasn't done. "They won't _knoooow_-! If they aren't going to be here for long, can't we have some fun?"

"I don't see any harm in it," Ironhide reasoned.

Bombarded by Prime's assault and backup, the CMO huffed. "...Fine. But _you_ are staying put for observation yourself."

Optimus didn't even care. "What are you calling _beige, _Megs?"

"I'm not calling him anything."

The sparkling shrieked in a hideously piercing manner at him.

"...That was most possibly the loudest yet," Megatron congratulated, and placed him on an empty berth. "I'm just going to check on Prowl."

Prime laughed. "Is it your fault Jazz is after him _again_?"

"...Yeasss," Megatron admitted, walking to the door. "But I think I know where he might be."

There was a yowl, and something thwacked into his leg. Megatron looked down and saw the Seeker cuddling it fiercely. "Oh, what is _this_?"

"He likes you. It happens."

"He does not _like_ me. We do not know each other."

"Love works in many ways," Ironhide sniggered.

"Shut up, old one." Megatron glared at the Seeker. "Unhand me."

The mechling wailed quietly and buried his helm into Megaton's leg.

Ratchet patted Optimus' abdomen and stared at it judgmentally. "...You'll do. Go and sit over there with your trigger-happy guardian."

He turned to see Megatron glowering at the sparkling, who was refusing to look back. "What are you _doing_?"

"I am challenging him to a staring competition. Currently I am winning."

"..._Why_?"

"If I win, he subconsciously will recognise me as dominant and will let go."

"Sounds like a great idea, but you're not doing it now."

"Wh- why? I'm about to achieve victory!"

"If you leave this room now, he's going to have a shrieking tantrum. And my audio receptors would prefer a nice, quiet, occasionally shrieky day. Not to mention he shouldn't encounter any stresses."

Megatron scowled desperately. "But-"

"No. Prowl will be just fine. Get back in here and sit down."

The silver mech let rip a snarling sigh and threw himself onto a berth on his back. The mechling squeaked delightedly and scurried up to Megatron's abdomen. There he sat and began yowling.

Megatron was determined not to be bothered.

"...He sounds like he's in pain," Ironhide worried.

"Is he dying?" Optimus frowned.

"He's hungry, idiots." Ratchet was, of course, the font of knowledge. "Ah, I know what we can do."

"Tell me this will be easy," Megatron sighed.

"You're going to do it, so it's going to be supremely easy for me."

"Depends on what it is," the silver mech replied, optics closed. "I could make it hard for you."

He suddenly felt Ratchet cuff him. "...Ow."

"I wasn't able to do this earlier because there was a fit of hysterics."

"I'll give you a fit of hysterics," Megatron grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his helm.

"Ah, we'll abuse his trust of you."

Megatron paused mid-rub. "Excuse me?"

Ratchet snickered. "You're worried! You _do_ care what he thinks of you. Anyway. Earlier, I was going to hook them up to fluid nutrients."

"Fabulous."

"Except they wouldn't let me. _Needles_."

"Needles."

"Apparently sharp objects stabbing into the energon lines doesn't amuse them. So you're going to do it."

Megatron gaped. "What twisted logic is this?"

"Ratchet Logic." Ironhide sighed. "The woe and wonder of our world."

"He'll let you do it," the CMO persisted, suddenly thrusting something into his hands. "And trust me, they need nutrients."

Megatron sighed. "Just stab the sharp bit into an energon line, shall I?"

"_That_ one." Ratchet pointed at the sparkling's arm. "I'll watch, just in case."

The mechling blinked at Megatron.

"...Are you going to give me your arm?" Megatron extended a claw to him. "Oh, you are. Wonderful."

The sparkling, reaching out to the proffered claw, jabbered at him.

"Ratchet wants me to viciously and cruelly stab this into you without remorse," the mech explained. "But it'll make you big and strong."

The CMO rolled his optics, but watched closely as the Seeker suddenly saw the needle and shrieked in alarm.

"No, it's fine," Megatron insisted. "Just trust me on this one."

"He looks a bit hysterical," Ironhide edged in front of Optimus warily, cannons slowly whirring.

"You're not getting out of this," Megatron told the sparkling, firmly pinning him to the berth. "And no shooting, Ironhide."

The mechling started shaking, and desperately looked at him with a whine.

Ratchet suddenly came over. "I'd better actually do it. We don't want it to hurt him after all this performance."

Megatron was very grateful, but this didn't last long.

The CMO was just about to insert the needle when a shattering howl burst forth from the mechling.

"What a _baby_," Ratchet sighed, swiftly doing so. "I hadn't even done it."

There was no actual sign that the sparkling realised that Ratchet had finished, and he simply continued screaming relentlessly.

"...Primus," Optimus concluded, peering around Ironhide's bulk. "Perhaps we shouldn't get on his bad side."

The black warrior narrowed his optics. "If he takes one step over here, he's _mine_."

Ratchet connected the needle to a tube and sighed in relief. "Hysterics I can deal with."

"How?" Megatron asked, hastily trying to calm the bawling demon.

The CMO smiled in an unsettlingly genuine manner. "_Sedatives_."

* * *

That startling image concludes our third chapter. :3

Next time we'll find out just what Prowl is up to, as well as the boys on base spending some time with the Seekers.

It's going to be **fun**. Hope you'll join me! :D

Happy New Year, everybody!


	4. How Do You Name A Beige Failwail?

Ahhh, this was painfully fun to write.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to think of an original reason why the Seekers have their names? I'll have you know that this consumed my thoughts for quite a while.

It's _hard_. I honestly thought I would be able to think of something, but I fear I have failed you all, readers. There is nothing that hasn't been done; every single reason has been exploited, and there is nothing left. D:

I realised this, and it was actually quite saddening. However, I decided that this was not the end. The reasons behind their names will be wearily generic and overused, but I'm Kibblifying them.

(Well, I gave up on Starscream. Honestly, I love it, but what a ridiculous name. What idiot ever named him?)

Hopefully the reasons will bring smiles to your faces.

The basis for Thundercracker - and hopefully Skywarp, if I ever manage to Kibblify him- will come in chapter five.

Anyway, I've rambled enough.

Thank you so much for your reviews, everybody! I said it last chapter, but it honestly is the truth. You are all brilliantly sweet- your comments are absolutely a pleasure to read.

You all seem to like Ratchet. x) Well, there's not much of him this time, but I'll definitely get him some _prime _time for you all. You know you want a chapter following Ratchet and his abusees. That isn't a word. Never mind! xD

Here's chapter four: please enjoy! :D

* * *

He was sulking; that much was obvious.

Tiny, narrowed red optics betrayed a definite mood going on- although the Seeker made no attempt to hide his displeasure. After having awoken from Ratchet's alarmingly powerful sedation he had wailed some more, unrelentingly and rather annoyingly.

Luckily there was a cure for this.

Megatron had managed to convince Ratchet not to use another tranquiliser, but the mechling was not happy with him. Not happy at all. He had been firmly and deliberately bitten, and the Seeker had dared to narrow his optics at Optimus.

Megatron _surprisingly_ also succeeded in persuading an enraged Ironhide not to shoot the sparkling (although after much ado), and the mech had settled for rotating his cannons grimly in the sparkling's face before watching Megatron attempt to return him to the incubator. This was somewhat tricky as the raging mechling insisted on biting him and squirming at the same time.

Eventually, Megatron managed to stuff him through the gap and back to his still snoozling seekerlet sidekicks. With a snarl, the Seeker attempted to snap at him once more before diving back into the space he had previously vacated and curling up in a quivering ball. This diving involved squeezing between the other sparklings, who woke with a start.

The mech turned away when-

"MEGATRON! GET ME THE OTHERS, YOU SLOW BUFFOON!"

_One day,_ Megatron promised himself,_ one day, I will be able to reach Ratchet's standards._

He eyed the incubator suspiciously. The beige Seeker didn't appear much of a threat at the moment. His sparkling buddies were snuggling him reassuringly and the blue mechling was watching Megatron suspiciously- perhaps it would be best to start with him.

The black sparkling VOPped suddenly and reappeared- with a painful smack- into the glass.

Megatron winced and hurriedly picked him up, then reached for the blue, who glared at his hand.

The beige Seeker wailed loudly as his other companion was taken away, and Megatron quickly shut the incubator, thanking his lucky stars when the wail reduced to mere silence.

Soundproofing was possibly the most beautiful thing ever invented.

"MEGATRON! SHOULD YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED MAMMOTH-TRON? HURRY _UP_!"

The mech scowled and exited Ratchet's office with the seekerlets in both hands.

"Over on _this_ table," the medic ordered. "The blue one, if you please."

Megatron placed the requested Seeker down and rearranged the black mechling, who pouted at him with a squeak.

Ratchet started poking the sparkling professionally. The blue Seeker gave him a death-glare, but he gave a better one back, sending the mechling into a dignified compliance.

"He's a fine size," the CMO declared, continuing his examination.

"Joy," Megatron expressed with much delight.

The black mechling screwed up his tiny face and VOPped.

Ratchet blinked. "What was that noise?"

"SPARKLING-!" Megatron snarled, ripping it off of his helm and dumping it on the table. "I have told you about this!"

"Such violence," Ratchet tutted. "Where did you get it from?"

"I know where I still _do_ get it from," Megatron growled, calming himself down slowly.

One of Ratchet's fingers suddenly split into multiple slimmer versions, with which he delicately inspected the mechling's face, pulling and pushing gently at his features. "And where would that be? _Ah_, lovely dental plates."

"You are _evil_," the silver mech replied. "And don't try to deny it. I've seen you hack into the security feed and tell Jazz where to find Prowl."

"Prowl needs some imagination," Ratchet retorted. "Besides, your mother was more evil than I am."

"That's an outright lie! She was only _evil_ when you were abusing Optimus and I!"

"That wasn't abuse," the CMO refuted. "I was merely looking out for you out of the goodness of my spark-"

"With _wrench wounds _and _stasis cuff_s?"

Ratchet cursed to himself. "I didn't think you remembered that."

"I remember _everything_. And one orn, I'm going to file a case against you. Witnesses and victims alike will flock forwards and you'll go down for life."

"Sure I will." Ratchet turned suddenly with a gleam in his optic. "If they're not too afraid."

"They'll be more afraid of me," Megatron declared.

"You _wish_."

"That's it," the bigger mech decided. "That's _it_; I'm going to be as evil as I can. Then the orn I open this case, you'll see- we'll rise against you."

"I'd like to see it happen."

"Oh, you will."

"We both know you won't- Optimus would be more likely to do such a thing than you. He's more like your father."

"Noble and righteous?"

"Idiotic and self-sacrificing," Ratchet agreed, now selecting the black Seeker.

"Oh, come on! He wasn't that bad."

"He was. Always running off first without _any_ regard for personal safety- and, dare I say it, without any regard for Ironhide and I. Who was it who had to bodyguard and thus run after him on considerably shorter legs-"

Megatron sniggered. "Let's assume you're talking about yourself."

"Who was it who had to fix him?" Ratchet continued, growing more emphatic by the second.

"Your choice of profession was not my father's fault."

"So tell me," the medic unexpectedly burst out, "who is it that has to live with his death and _know_ that there must have been something they could have done?"

Taken aback, the other mech blinked, unsure of how to respond. "Ratch, he-"

"He _knew_ what would happen," Ratchet seethed, distress fading to anger. "And he nearly took his sons with him. Why do you think Ironhide takes guarding Optimus so to spark? He doesn't want history to repeat itself, that's why."

In the quiet that settled, a soft VOP and sudden weight indicated that the black Seeker had taken refuge on Megatron's helm.

Ratchet suddenly looked past him into his office. "You _did_ shut the incubator?"

"Of course."

The CMO headed into the other room, and, hearing a sigh, Megatron decided to follow.

As he did so, the blue Seeker jumped onto his back and ascended to cling onto his arm.

"You didn't," Ratchet said dryly.

Megatron entered the office and saw the beige Seeker manically throwing itself around the room. "...What is he doing?"

"Having a spaz attack," Ratchet replied. "Get him, would you?"

"He hates me."

"He wants to be with you forever."

"Really?"

"No. But it's your fault he escaped, so you can deal with him. The alternative is me finding those stasis cuffs."

Megatron hurriedly peeled the Seekers off of himself before eyeing the path of the beige sparkling. "I'm not Prowl; I can't decipher any kind of pattern from that! How am I supposed to intercept him-?"

Ratchet flexed his fingers.

Scowling, Megatron decided to try the easy way. "_**BEIGE**_!"

The mechling froze in an upside-down position on the ceiling.

Ratchet narrowed his optics in approval, and the other Seekers jabbered anxiously.

"Get _down_ here," Megatron ordered, pointing at Ratchet's desk.

The sparkling watched him nervously and did nothing.

"_Now_, beige. Do not test me."

The Seeker let go of his ceiling and splatted into the ground with a painful smash.

"Oh, Primus. What a failure," Megatron sighed, making his way over. "Did you hurt yourself?"

The sparkling glanced up to see the huge mech looming towards him and shrieked, scurrying into the closest corner.

The black Seeker wailed gently, wing nubs twitching rapidly, and clung onto the quietly hissing blue mechling.

Ratchet watched them with a slight frown before glancing back to Megatron, who was right by his target.

"Are you alright?" the silver mech asked worriedly as the Seeker, unable to move any further, shrank away.

Petrified, the sparkling closed his optics and quivered miserably.

Megatron picked him up tenderly. "Where do you want him, Ratch?"

"Hold onto him," the CMO decreed, frown still in place.

"But he's shaking-"

"Dump him back in his corner then."

"The blunt tone is unnecessary," Megatron scowled.

The Seekers on the desk watched him intently. Very intently.

"Why are they so attentive? ...Ratchet?"

The CMO was busy thinking, fingers steepled. "...Put him in the _incubator_."

Trying to ignore the evil emphasis, Megatron managed to post the sparkling through a small gap in the incubator 'door', as it were.

It fell to the base with an indignant squawk, and Ratchet pointed at it menacingly. "Watch this, Seeker." Without any further ado, he swiftly inserted a needle into the blue sparkling's arm; the mechling didn't even flinch. "That's how it's _supposed _to happen," the medic declared, glaring meaningfully at the beige.

The sulking Seeker skulked at the back of the incubator, pacing back and forth agitatedly.

"...See?" Megatron asked, gesturing at his fellow sparklings. "They aren't making a fuss."

The black Seeker was too busy trying to strangle Ratchet's finger to notice any needles entering his body.

The luminous mech triumphantly wired them up to some odd little canisters. "Time to _overdose _on vitamins, Seekers."

"Isn't overdosing a bad thing?"

"Not," Ratchet declared, "when the overdosing is in _my_ hands."

The black Seeker was busy trying to hug the canister- the blue watching him wearily- when Ironhide burst into the room, cannons brandished. At Ratchet's filthy glare, he reluctantly spoke. "...Any... threats?"

"You will have a severe one to your weapons systems in a minute!" Ratchet roared, flinging a giant saw at him.

The black mech gleefully calculated the path it would take and obliterated it. Unfortunately, this was just a diversion- the medic suddenly had a firm hold on one of his cannons. After freezing in automatic response to an alarmingly close Ratchet, Ironhide tactfully retracted the weapon at speed.

"Can we name them now?" Optimus asked, entering and saving Ironhide from dismemberment.

"Of course you can," Ratchet replied sweetly, detaching the blue and black sparklings from the canisters. "Just remember to give them appropriate designations. Ironhide, Optimus- you take _this_ one."

He headed for the beige with an evil light to his optics, but Megatron determinedly handed Ironhide the blue Seeker, who was so far the least troublesome.

At this point, Jazz evidently _had_ to arrive, tugging a defeated Prowl behind him. "Found him!"

"Where were you this time?" Prime asked.

"I thought I was safe under my own desk," the tactician sighed.

"He nearly was," Jazz confirmed. "Opened his door- nobody there. Almost didn't think he could cope with being so close to his desk and not working at it."

"What gave you away?"

"I could hear him attacking a data-pad," Jazz beamed, grabbing the taller mech in a helmlock. "Silly Prowlie- you'll never best me!"

Prowl muttered some kind of oath quietly.

Ratchet's optics evaluated them before he thrust the black sparkling in their direction, dumping it in Prowl's arms. "Name it."

Jazz wailed in joy and clutched at the other mech's chassis. "Oh, Prowlie! We're fathers! We- we should call him Jazz Junior- or Prowlie Junior!"

"Inappropriate," Prowl replied stiffly. "Very- _very_ inappropriate."

Megatron was impressed that the mech hadn't fritzed- especially when Ratchet opened the incubator and the beige Seeker shot at him. He felt like fritzing himself. "Ratch, what is this-?" The sparkling warbled at him, now clinging to his chassis. "You aren't Ratchet. Shut up."

"They need names," the CMO replied sweetly. "Appropriate Seeker names. Get to it."

"What! No, I'm a busy mech- and he doesn't need a name; none of them do! They're fine as they are-!"

Too late.

Prowl had already been forced out of the room by a scarily gleeful Jazz, and a departing Optimus was musing with Ironhide.

"Ratchet, this is ludicrous!"

"There's no harm in naming them," the medic replied smugly. "Besides, they'll need some if their creators don't come."

"I hate you," Megatron almost wailed.

The beige Seeker wailed with him.

"Hurry up or you'll miss the fun," Ratchet sniggered, then was abruptly serious. "Really, go. I can't handle his wailing."

Megatron sulked his way out of the CMO's office, only to find the other victims of the Seekers waiting for him.

"So, Megsy!" Jazz began enthusiastically. "What now? You're th'Seeker expert!"

"...You did not just wink at me."

"Cunning, eh? A flash of my visor, like _this_!"

"Stop flashing!"

Ironhide suppressed a snigger, attracting Prime's attention.

"Look, 'hide, I can carry a sparkling-"

"No," the warrior replied firmly, holding onto the blue Seeker. "Definitely not. If there's an attack, you need all of your wits about you."

Prowl had had enough. "Could we just concentrate and get this over with?"

"Oh, Prowlie- you don't mean that!"

"I do. I have reports to fill in and-"

The short mech had a different view. "Y'want t'spend alone-time with your Jazz an' your sparkling!"

Megatron considered sneaking away, but a sudden burning on the side of his helm caused him to turn- and see Ratchet giving him filthy evilles.

Optimus crossed his arms thoughtfully. "So, Megatron?"

"...To the roof."

By the time the band of mechs had reached the lift- a monstrous, transparent affair- Megatron was wondering if he should have considered some kind of lead. He then decided against it- beige didn't like heights anyway, so he doubted the Seeker would run off and jump.

Too bad.

Megatron himself might, though.

"Something they like, and something they do," he mused, snapping his guide shut.

The lift shot up towards the roof. Jazz, clinging onto Prowl's arm, looked down, whooping at the sight of the ground shooting away from them at a blinding speed. Prowl couldn't escape, but looked in the opposite direction in an admirably dignified manner, especially considering the black sparking was yowling in glee.

Ironhide was muttering to himself, cannons revolving. "This is a perfect moment for a strike. There'd be practically no escape routes, defences laughable, termination: highly probable."

Optimus started looking around nervously. "I don't think anyone's going to attack us, 'hide."

"We should not have taken the elevator," the black mech fumed. "The stairs, at least!"

"...It would have taken six breems to ascend to the roof," Prowl informed them frostily. "Far too long. Besides, this lift has far superior protection due to being strongly built to carry weight, and additionally was designed with possible attack in processor. The stairs only have the walls for fortification."

"Do not run off," Megatron warned the beige Seeker as the elevator slowed. It jumped onto his shoulder with a screechy yap.

Optimus was first out onto the vast surface, watching his sparkling with a frown as they ventured onto the roof. He pointed at the horizon, where dimly seen buildings were radiantly aglow. "Behold, blue; Iacon."

"Hold onto the black one," Megatron advised.

Jazz bounced around a weary Prowl, practically singing. "We have t'look f'something our sparkling has interest in, Prowlie!"

"Yes, Jazz. Except we don't have a sparkling."

"How could y'say that? Deny his heritage like that-! He's hurt!"

The sparkling giggled, glancing between them both.

"Any ideas, Megsy?" Jazz bounded in his direction.

"I don't need ideas- beige is what he is, and beige is what he does."

"He'll give beige a proper name," Optimus concluded quietly to Ironhide.

"I wouldn't be so sure; he's fairly adamant."

"He _will_." Prime eyed their sparkling. "So, blue. What do you like?"

"Booming things," Megatron replied for him, sitting down on the edge of the roof with his legs dangling over the side. Clinging onto his shoulder nervously, the beige Seeker peered once at the softly glowing landscape beneath them- the buildings gently illuminated by ethereal, internal light- and hid behind some of his armour. "_What_ are you doing, prat?"

"Booming?" Ironhide asked suspiciously. "Will he attack-"

"It's his freaky ability. And it's almost as annoying as _his_ VOP."

Jazz clasped his hands. "Prowlie, our baby _VOP_s! ...What _is _a VOP?"

"Put him down at your peril."

A buzz trembled forth as the energy barrier around the roof activated, flicking into white existence and then fading, a soft humming the only sign it was still there. Having sent the electronic command, Ironhide stood smugly. "Nobody's falling off on _my_ watch."

There was silence for a small while as they watched the far-off sun descend from the sky, vanishing behind Iacon's distantly shimmering buildings; structures taller than imagination could dictate.

A sudden thought made its way through Optimus' processor. "...Weather."

"What of it?"

"Simulators!" the Prime cried gleefully. "Ironhide, we're the weather-mechs! Let's roll, let's roll!"

Megatron prayed that Optimus would drop the 'roll' imperatives. They just weren't _dignified_. Hopefully it was just a stage in his relatively juvenile life.

"Careful!" Ironhide was warning, hurrying after his charge. "Don't trip-!"

"In a _lift_?"

"You could smash through-"

"An _energy_ wall?"

The discussion ended as they disappeared from view, but another was quick to begin.

Prowl was disgruntled. "Weather was a good starting point."

"We're better than them, Prowlie. For us, the sky's th'limit!"

"Hm. Technically untrue."

"Metaphorically!"

"Incorrect, Jazz. We could easily pass Cybertron's sky and enter space."

"You there," Jazz demanded, grabbing the sparkling. "What d'_you_ think?"

The confused Seeker warbled at him helpfully.

"Th'_sky_," the silver mech persisted, jabbing at it. The black mechling looked up, then howled excitedly, flailing to be freed-

"Do _not _let him go," Megatron repeated, now lying on his back.

"D'you like it?" Jazz questioned the Seeker- who burbled at him expressively with arms wiggling wildly.

"It looks like freedom," Prowl answered softly.

The Seeker squealed at them both- Jazz suddenly laughed delightedly and pulled Prowl into the lift. "Inspiration!"

A stunned tactician had no time to even twitch, let alone respond.

Megatron was left contemplating the sky. "You don't need a name, do you?" The sparkling nudged his way under his arm as he continued. "You'll be going back to your parents before too long."

Unnoticed, the Seeker's wing nubs drooped slightly.

"And they know you better than I do, so they can give you the best name poss-" he paused, a message from Optimus arriving- flagged with such high importance he immediately accessed it.

_You, Megatron. I know what's you're doing; I __**see**__ you. Stop it. You're an aft- hurry up and consider choosing a name before he's stuck with 'beige' forever. What a bully you are. Could you leave __**anybody**__ stuck with such a designation? It will do neither of you any harm. This is the start of a beautiful relationship, so get on with it before I order Ratchet to check you for processor malfunction._

Megatron scowled affectionately. The cheeky-

Another message: _I __**will**__ do it. _

With a long-suffering sigh, Megatron turned to the sparkling, who was beholding him with huge optics. "Go away."

The Seeker whined, clambering his way onto the mech's chassis- and was promptly pushed back.

"If you claw my face, you will die. I will throw you off of this roof and watch you howl in terror as you plunge to your... no, you'd disturb everybody again."

The beige creature shrieked, then carefully snuggled onto his back between Megatron's arm and side.

"Watch your wings," the silver Cybertronian told him absentmindedly.

As if reminding him that he wasn't _that_ idiotic so as to lie on them, the sparkling clicked and contentedly nibbled some of Megatron's armour.

"Perhaps you should be called _Bitefiend_- stop your gnawing!"

He flicked the Seeker's helm away- there was a hiss before the attack was redoubled. Eventually the mech gave up and led with optics closed, trying to ignore the high-pitched growling and gentle tugging of eager jaws attempting to rip him apart.

Much time passed before Megatron suddenly realised there was no sound and no movement: the beast could be recharging. He hopefully opened one optic- the Seeker was still attached to his arm, but was gazing up at the sky. "What are you looking at?"

The Seeker sucked on the armour in his mouth in response.

"Well, that's nice," Megatron replied, turning his own optics to the darkening sky. "Tell me, beige: found anything you like yet?"

A longer suck.

"Keep on looking. I'm sure something interesting will come about- like Jazz, flying through the air, or Ratchet dropping a satisfying distance to the ground-" he paused with a growl. "This is _useless_! You don't even like heights. Are you actually a Seeker, or an imposter? A wannabe?"

The sparkling shrieked and Megatron felt its wing nubs twitch against his arm.

"I'm not saying you don't have wings. Listen, you twerp. Why don't you listen? I'm saying that you're a failure. Your cronies are going to get their names and they'll be fine. You, on the other hand, will just fail at life-"

An indignant screech nearly deafened him.

"Could call you _Screechy_. That would do. _Beigescreech_. I like it. How about _Failwail, _or _Failscreech_?"

The sparkling looked excited.

"...No. It has to be something as- as... well, what are you? What do you do apart from make noise? Are you intelligent? Stupid? Agile? Clumsy? Strong? Puny?"

The Seeker nodded enthusiastically to each of them, causing Megatron to sigh and try to recharge. After a few astroseconds, a yowl put an end to this- clearly, the sparkling's limited ability to sit still and not have all attention on him had expired. He sprang onto Megatron's face and attempted to eat one of his optics.

"You have _issues,_" Megatron raged, plucking him off and tossing him away. "Why would you do that? Go back to that chasm from whence you came!"

A blissful pause, then a soft nudge at his arm.

"Get lost. When you find something you like, try and find your way back. Into Pit."

The Seeker wailed and scrabbled at him frantically.

"Go away, beige failure!"

Silence was gifted to the scene. Then- quietly, gently- the sparkling climbed back to nestle on his arm.

Megatron sighed as it whined and clawed at him once. "What now?"

It sprang onto his chassis and loomed over his face, tiny talons using his chin as a balance. There was a squawk.

"I don't speak turbochicken," the mech complained before narrowing his optics. "Get off of my face."

The sparkling ignored him, and attempted to climb onto it.

Megatron watched the oddly jointed legs scrabble to try and find some kind of grip on his face in something akin to fascination. "You are so _bizarre_."

A sharp talon on one of the mechling's feet scratched him accidentally- well, he _assumed_ it was accidentally. He huffed, prepared to let it pass, but then a dewclaw hooked itself under his cheek armour, yanking harshly on delicate, softer plating as the Seeker tugged it. With a growl, Megatron plucked him into the air and whilst eyeing him authoritatively, jabbed his face in deserved punishment.

As it snapped back at him, Megatron obliviously frowned, instead scratching gently at a mark on his forehelm. The mechling screeched at him and grabbed the claw.

"You have a stain," he complained. "I only want to rub it off."

There was a shriek of dismay as the mech continued his relentless assault, pinning him down for a more thorough attack.

"Your hygiene is despicable! It doesn't come off-!" he explained, scratching more firmly- to which the sparkling yowled, wriggling. "Is it a parasite? Is- is it _stuck_ to you? Ratchet will deal with it," Megatron promised as he strode back to the lift, Seeker in hand.

The mechling shrieked horrendously as they entered the elevator, and continued to do so for the entire descent to the ground floor. Megatron was unsure of whether he'd already learnt to recognise the name _Ratchet_ or had seen how high up they were through the transparent wall.

"Be quiet, will you?" he demanded as they exited the lift. "I'll mute my audios on you presently. See how you like that, eh?" The Seeker wailed as he attacked the mark again. "...You are such a _sparkling_."

The building being incredibly large, it took another couple of minutes to reach the medbay- minutes in which the sparkling managed to calm down. He might not have done so by himself, but Megatron attracted his attention to some shoulder armour by wiggling it slightly. It was soon attended to in a sucky, nibbly fashion. Nice.

As they entered the medbay, Megatron noted that nobody else was there: clearly no names had been thought of yet.

Ratchet was not best pleased to see them back so early. "Sedation?" he asked, already unsubspacing a needle.

"No, no." Megatron threw the Seeker at him.

Ratchet almost let the howling sparkling hit the floor before catching him. "What now?"

"He's got something filthy on him, and I demand it off."

"OCD much?" Ratchet inspected the mechling with a frown. "What filth? He's not filthy."

"Can't you see it? That tiny and pale odd-looking thing?" Megatron advanced within poking range and prodded the sparkling's forehelm as he cringed away into Ratchet.

The medic didn't even give it a glance. "That's a _mark_, you fool. It can't be helped."

"...Obviously it's a mark-"

"He was _sparked_ with it." Ratchet thrust the Seeker back at him. "Almost unnoticeable, you anal-retentive."

Megatron scowled. "Beige, you're useless to the point of failing to be entirely beige!" The sparkling clung to his arm miserably, and he felt a little sorrowful. "I won't hate you for it."

Ratchet's fingers twitched. "I suppose you've thought of his name, eh."

"...Nooooo." Megatron started backing away warily.

"Then I suggest you _leave_ and put some work into it."

The silver mech hurriedly made a tactical retreat, striding down the corridors once again with only one purpose: looking busy. The sparkling bit him, struggling out of his grasp, then climbed onto his shoulder. Megatron prepared to swat away an attack on his face, but the Seeker shuffled once before crouching on said shoulder, quite contented.

"Do you have enough balance?" Megatron asked. "I don't want you to fall; you might scratch at my armour."

Tiny talons readjusted themselves slightly, followed by a shriek.

The mech snarled as his senses clamoured in alarm. "_Not_ in my audio receptors!"

A wail preceded the sparkling trembling.

"Stop shaking," Megatron ordered, but it squawked in indignant denial. "You realise that you're touching me? I can feel it."

In a clear display of self-control, the Seeker stilled his disloyal limbs and then yapped proudly.

"You're nothing special," Megatron told him. "Anybody can do that."

He wandered to the first floor down the empty corridors, somewhat _glad_ that they were indeed empty. Having anybody see him address a sparkling perched on his shoulder –which was not the most dignified or respectable occurrence- was frankly an undesirable notion. As he passed the rec. room, he considered hiding out in there. It seemed like a good place to pretend to be thinking of a designation, so he activated the door-

Then hurriedly whirled back and continued down the corridor. Hopefully-

Jazz thrust himself in front of them, black sparkling in his arms. "So? His _name_?"

Megatron sighed. Apparently he had been spotted. "Beige."

The saboteur wasn't impressed, even as his Seeker reached towards the beige with a burble. "Did you waste _any _time on name-spawning?"

"No." Megatron was pleased that the beige sparkling ignored the other loftily.

"Did you do _anything_?"

"Went on a pointless excursion to see Ratchet."

"Why?" Prowl, exiting the rec. room in search of his disappearing (and forced) partner was intrigued. "I didn't think anybody was that deranged."

"I _thought_ he had a problem with his helm, but he's just an oddly-coloured freak."

Jazz caught sight of the mark and practically burst, snatching the Seeker with his free hand and giving him a kiss. "You're so _adorable_!"

"Don't do that," Prowl monotoned _really_ enthusiastically. "Our sparkling will get upset."

Jazz gave the beige mechling a squeeze whilst balancing the other dangerously. "I want a star too!"

Megatron was nonplussed. "Beige is in _no_ way a star."

"He _has_ one," Jazz explained, pointing enthusiastically (and awkwardly, due to holding the black sparkling in the same hand) at the Seeker's helm. "That's what th'marking is called!"

"It looks nothing like a star." Prowl couldn't cope with such inaccuracy, his optics flickering.

Jazz hurriedly amended this. "Not a star _shape_, but more of a realistic interpretation- y'see, Prowlie? It's slightly rounded and yet uneven."

Prowl recovered with a grateful sigh. "Thank you, Jazz."

"It's a pale mark on his helm, and that's what it's called," the font of colouring-knowledge continued, blowing a raspberry on it.

The Seeker, thrilled with such attention, shrieked and tried to bite him excitedly.

"Who's a cute little star? _You_ are!" Jazz enthused back, ticking his abdominal plating to hysterical howls.

Megatron took him back. "That's enough of your retarded influence."

"Better retarded than boring!" Jazz winked at him. "Want y'star back, eh? Jealous, were you? Eh?"

"No!"

"Megsy's little star?" the other mech teased remorselessly.

"Would you like to retain your legs? You wouldn't even be _short_ then," Megatron threatened.

The Seeker laughed as Jazz speedily dived behind Prowl.

"Protect me, Prowlie!"

"No."

"But our sparkling needs both of us!" Jazz wailed, clinging onto him. "Let's please go!"

"And grow," Megatron snarled viciously.

"He could have been a star," Jazz lamented dramatically, making a sharp exit. "His shrieks could have filled the Universe!"

Prowl was definitely smiling as they disappeared.

Beige squawked sulkily.

"You don't need so much attention, beige. It is unhealthy."

Ratchet's voice burst through his comm. "_This is an immediate recall for Seekers beige, blue and black and their idiots._"

"At _last._"

There was an anguished howl from down the corridor as Jazz responded to the news. "My baby!"

Beige nibbled contentedly on Megatron's armour as they headed back to the medbay.

Prime and Ironhide were already there, both smugly glancing at the blue Seeker. He looked rather pleased with himself.

"The conceit in this room is suffocating," Megatron commented.

"Peh," Ironhide snorted. "Wait until Ratchet comes back. He's _convinced_ that you haven't found a name for beige and that he gets to beat you with his new wre-"

"There's been worse," Megatron dismissed.

"-his new wrench _collection_," Ironhide finished. "Complete with other instruments."

"No," Optimus frowned. "That wasn't the terminology he used. Wasn't it... _test_ his new instruments?"

Megatron was slightly unnerved. "Test? No hitting?"

"It'll undoubtedly be more painful," Prime murmured heroically, then raised a fiery blue gaze into the middle-distance. "I'll take this one for you, brother- your pain is my pain."

Ironhide stood up dramatically, cannons whirling. "No! If you try it, I'll take your place!"

Glancing at the beige Seeker (who was still gnawing on his shoulder armour), Megatron sighed. "See what I have to deal with? _All_ the time."

/I thought you said he'd have a name?/ Ironhide asked Optimus privately.

/_He does, I know it. I just wanted to sound noble. Did I sound noble?_/

Ironhide nodded emphatically as Megatron interrupted. "Did you get a name for blue?"

"Of course."

"Medic's pet."

"Bully."

"So?" Megatron shot back.

"Thundercracker," Optimus announced firmly, brandishing the Seeker.

"...Are you serious?"

"I am."

Team Thundercracker clearly didn't quite agree. Ironhide sighed heavily. "Could he have a more pompous name? _Four_ syllables long-? Come on, Optimus."

"No." Prime was resolute. "That's his name, and he likes it."

The newly christened Thundercracker gave a rare squawk.

Suddenly, the beige Seeker dived off of Megatron and shot out of the door.

"_**BEIGE**_!" the mech roared, slamming a claw into the _automatic close_ function before chasing after him. "What the _frag_-!"

Ironhide smacked a hand into his own face as the door smoothly shut. "Please be joking, Prime."

"Not in the slightest, and there's _nothing _you can do about it."

"But-" Ironhide tried to think of disadvantages of the name. "What about when he's needed urgently? We can't go around shouting THUNDERCRACKER repeatedly!"

"Oh?" Optimus raised an optic ridge.

"No!"

Before this could be further disputed, there was a VOP from outside.

Ironhide strode to the door, cannons fully active. "Announce yourself!"

Jazz and Prowl were at the door, black Seeker burbling and drooling over Prowl's helm.

Prowl had a blank, vacant look on his faceplates. Ironhide recognised it immediately as Denial.

Optimus glared at the sparkling. "You decided on a name?"

"Sure did," Jazz beamed. "And damn, it's better than the one you've come up with."

"How do you know?" Ironhide was displeased by the presumption.

"...Because I'm Jazz, and this is Prowlie- Jazz plus Prowlie is equal to an unbeatable combination!" The saboteur bounded into the room, and pointed at Optimus. "C'mon—out with it. What d'you call him?"

Ironhide attempted to smother the red and blue mech, but this was decidedly useless, what with Prime having a facemask and all.

"Thundercracker," Optimus informed, completely at ease with Ironhide gripping his lower face.

"No," the black warrior hurriedly amended, trying to look as if the face-grabbing had some kind of purpose and turning it into a hearty, friendly mech-slap on the mask. "He's not. It- it just isn't a suitable name. It's far too long. He can't be called _Thundercracker._"

Jazz disagreed. "I think y'could g-."

"Jazz, no! Not you too," Prowl groaned. "You _know_ that Thundercracker is too long a name."

"Ah, and y'think y'know that I know that Thundercracker is too long a name?"

"You _know_ that I think you know that we both think Thundercracker is too long a name."

"But how can y'be _sure_ that y'think y'know that I know that y'know that I know Thundercracker is too long a name?"

"I just _know_ that you know that I know that you know that I know and we _both_ know Thundercracker is too long a name."

"Y'can't be sure! _How_ do y'know-"

Ironhide sighed over the continuing debate. "...I've lost it."

Optimus frowned in concentration as he tried to keep up. "I've still got them-! Oh, no. Gone."

"Too many knows," Ironhide huffed. "He's never going to learn that name."

"He will," Prime assured.

"But how do you know-" the black mech stopped himself. "I'm not going down that route."

The sparkling was busy watching Jazz and Prowl battle on. They were speaking so fast that Optimus wasn't even sure if _they_ understood what they were saying.

"We should move away from them before our processors overload," he suggested.

Ironhide's cannons powered up. "I'll obliterate them before-" There was a shriek from down the corridor, and the cannons instantly shot to point at the door. "Be still," Ironhide shouted, moving slowly towards it.

The blue Seeker watched him, puzzled.

"It's fine," Optimus reassured. "Ironhide's just... wait, what are you doing?"

"Announce yourself!" the black mech ordered.

The door opened a fraction and he fired immediately, blasting it shut again.

Jazz and Prowl hesitated in their epic altercation. "Y'alright, 'hide?"

"There's an _intruder_," Ironhide hissed, cannons swivelling as he charged towards the door.

"Wait! What if it's a sparkling?" Prowl suggested hurriedly, causing the other mech to pause.

"Thundercracker, go-!" Optimus enthused.

The blue Seeker blinked apathetically, so Jazz picked him up and threw him at the door. "GO!"

Prime dived forwards and managed to catch the sparkling before he smashed into it. "_Jazz_-!"

"That's me!"

"Yes, obviously- what in the name of _Primus _were you trying to _do-!_"

"I was sending Thundercracker t'see off the intruder," Jazz explained. "Can I do it again?"

Prowl's fingers rippled through the air. "I believe abusing sparklings is an offence. What would you say, Jazz?"

"Definitely," the small mech agreed. "The low-life that would- oh, man."

Prowl actually laughed as he grabbed the back of Jazz's neck. "To the _brig_. At _last_-!"

"Don't open the door!" Ironhide bellowed, but it was too late- Prowl had already activated the door, which slid to the side and revealed the beige Seeker, who glared at the black mech before darting inside.

"Beige!" Optimus cried in delight.

The fact a cannon was trained on him was not lost on the Seeker as he skidded behind Optimus.

"One move, beige," Ironhide whispered threateningly.

The sparkling glared at him before springing up onto Optimus' back.

Prime attempted to turn his helm to look, but failed miserably. "What is he doing?"

"Stay still," Ironhide growled, cannons powering up. "I'll rid you of him-"

There was the sound of another cannon charging- he whipped round to tackle the larger threat.

Megatron was standing in the doorway, fusion cannon pointing at him and looking highly displeased. "Weapons down, Ironhide."

"_Your_ weapons down."

"No."

"You are a threat to my charge," Ironhide enunciated clearly, "and I will not lower my weapons until you do."

"_Ironhide_," Megatron growled in exasperation, "_you_ were the one pointing your cannons at Optimus."

"Lies! I was pointing my cannons at the wretch!"

The silver mech snarled. "Did you just call my brother a _wretch_?"

Sensing this could get nasty, Optimus hurriedly interjected. "The wretch is on my back, hiding."

Megatron ran this through his processor several times. "Oho, so that's where he is."

Prime felt something nudge its way between two pieces of his armour. Before managing to work out what it was, sharp jaws clamped on some wires and tugged viciously.

Megatron watched Optimus shriek for a moment before working out what had happened. "_Beige_! Come here!"

There was a pause before the Seeker dropped to the floor (leaving a twitching Optimus and a hysterical Ironhide shouting about diseases) and scurried to him.

Megatron eyed him disapprovingly. "You are not to run off."

The sparkling pouted.

"And you bit Optimus, didn't you?"

The Seeker blinked at him, clueless.

Megatron picked him up by the scruff and pointed in the direction of Optimus now attempting to divert a vengeful Ironhide. "If you hurt him again, you are going back on the street. Kicked out, _alone_."

Clearly understanding this, the beige mechling whined, wing nubs drooping slightly.

"Go and apologise," Megatron ordered. "I realise you can't speak, but this is no excuse. Go and do it."

After considering this, the mech decided to carry him over- a lone beige heading for Optimus might provoke an explosive response.

The Seeker wriggled, demanding to be put down, but Megatron was firm. Besides, Ironhide's optics were bulging as it was. Shrieking, the sparkling continued squirming, glaring at Megatron as though he was trying to convey something. Sadly, Megatron a) couldn't understand what he was trying to convey, and b) didn't really care.

"_Apologise_."

After one last wiggle and screech, he stopped, then lowered his helm and wing nubs miserably.

Prime was distressed. "Leave him alone, Megatron- you _tyrant_."

"I'm teaching him manners, so be quiet."

"No! He doesn't have to apologise- freedom is the ri-"

"I _sincerely_ hope this is just a phase you're going through," Megatron said menacingly. "I've had enough of rolling and quite enough of your freedom spouts."

"But-"

"_Enough_."

Optimus' antennae twitched dejectedly. "Yes, Megatron."

The sparkling raised his optics slightly and piercingly squealed at him.

"I accept your apology," Prime replied dismally.

Megatron dropped him in disgust, and Optimus watched in further confusion as the Seeker bounced over and hurled himself on his front by the mech's feet with further wailings and a hideous shriek that sounded like he was in agony.

The other Seekers in the room were most surprised by this, the blue raising an optic ridge.

The black VOPped over and giggled delightedly, then attempted to bite one of beige's wings.

A frenzied and violent response most furious ended with the black himself quivering on his own front, wings flattened. The beige hissed at him, baring his tiny fangs. The black refused to look him in the optics, but squealed loudly.

He was ignored as the beige returned to Optimus and led on his front again with a pitiful cry.

Prime was very distressed. "Megatron, what do I do?"

"I don't know."

Jazz, ever observant, offered a hypothesis. "Looks like a Seeker apology. See how our baby-" he glanced at Prowl adoringly- "See how our baby was cruelly beaten down by beige? He's doing th'same thing."

"So how do I accept it?" Optimus wailed.

"No idea," the silver saboteur shrugged.

Prime gingerly bent down and gently stroked his wing nubs. "It's all right, beige." This was clearly an adequate idea- the Seeker purred quietly and lightly nibbled his hand. "...Nice, _biting_ beige."

Megatron was more pleased by the 'beating down' of the other sparkling. "Beige is clearly superior. Maybe he's not so useless."

The Seeker's audio receptors perked slightly, and he was about to dash back to Megatron when he caught sight of the wretched-looking black sparkling, still cowering on his front. With a hiss, he cuffed the other around the helm and shrieked at him in vicious-sounding Seeker. The black wailed back but remained on his abdomen, cringing.

"I can't watch, Prowlie! Hold me!" Jazz howled, hurling himself into the poor tactician.

"There's nothing we can do," Prowl shook his helm sadly. "This is his rank. His calling."

"His calling in life is to be attacked by _beige_?" Jazz wailed.

Megatron laughed. "That makes him even _more_ of a failure than beige."

The blue sparkling watched fairly impassively from Ironhide's back.

Optimus sighed. "Don't you care, Thundercracker?"

"This is life, Prime!" Ironhide narrowed his optics in approval. "This is _life_. You're going to be beaten, humiliated, tested-! But what are you _not _going to do?"

"...Lie on my abdomen and wail?"

"A fine answer."

The beige Seeker was now circling the other, snarling now and again almost as if provoking him. Once or twice he darted in and slashed at the black, who merely trembled and looked down at the floor with occasional whimpers. Finally, it seemed that the beige was satisfied with this display- he practically sat on top of the other and savagely bit his wings.

The black Seeker yowled, his face contorted in agony.

Megatron decided to intervene and snapped his claws. "Beige, enough. Come here."

He mauled the black for another moment or two, then cuffed him again with a hiss before bounding onto Megatron's shoulder and flicking his wing nubs.

"Clever beige," the mech murmured, giving them a stroke. "_Clever_ beige."

"Well-!" Optimus tried to sound light and breezy as Jazz howled, dropped to his knees beside the black sparkling, and cuddled him desperately. "So-"

"Don't _die_, my darling!" he wailed.

The black sparkling choked.

Prowl heaved in a juddering sigh. "Jazz, you're squeezing his neck."

The silver mech whipped around, visor flashing. "Are y'saying I'd try and _kill_ my baby, Prowlie?"

"No. He just can't ventilate."

Rising to his feet smoothly, Jazz guiltily held the Seeker at arm's length for inspection. "Will you live?"

It coughed once, then gurgled, flicking its small wings experimentally and giving a slight wince.

"Beige has _disabled_ our sparkling! This- this is what happens when y'don't have loving creators," Jazz shook a fist at Megatron. "See, Prowlie and I provide stable, caring and inspirational role-models. But you, look at you! You're a bad influence, single parent! Y'clearly can't handle this menace alone! Curse you, Megatron! And- and curse your beige!"

Prowl pulled him back, internally cringing. "He's fine. Beige wouldn't injure him severely. It was just discipline."

"What gives _beige_ the right to discipline? He's-"

"So, Jazz," Optimus tactfully stepped in. "What's your black called?"

Jazz beamed at Prowl before replying. "This is _Skywarp_."

"Thundercracker is better," Prime disputed.

"They can't _all_ be called _Thundercracker_," Prowl reminded.

"They can," Megatron shrugged. "Thundercracker #1, Thundercracker #2, Th-"

Prowl had another solution. "Or Thund, Ercrack and Er."

Jazz shook his helm sadly. "Er and Ercrack might get confused."

"Ahhhh- well, maybe Skywarp will do," Optimus sighed. "Megsy?"

"Is not my name."

"...Megs?"

"Do I call you 'Tim' or 'Pottymus'? No, I don't."

Prowl fritzed, crumpling to the floor.

"Ha, Pottymus Prime," Jazz grinned.

Optimus whipped round and pointed a finger menacingly. "No."

The saboteur paled. "Yessir!"

Jazz might have actually listened to him anyway, but behind the Prime stood a mech mirroring the pointing. With a cannon.

Optimus turned back to Megatron with a dignified sniff. "...Lord High Protector Megatron; my glorious, wise brother and highly undervalued friend: will you bequeath unto me the honour of the acquaintance of the name of the sparkling more recently known as 'Beige'?"

Megatron seemed to think for a moment. "Alright, I'll tell you. It's so secret, I'll spell it out: put together the letters b, e, i, g and e."

Prime considered this, then scowled. "You can't call him beige."

"I'm not calling him anything. How many _times_-! He's not mine to name."

"But he follows you around like- like a turbopuppy!"

Megatron exchanged a glance with the Seeker, who twitched an optic ridge.

The door suddenly slid open, and Ratchet paced in smugly, eyeing them all as if they were body parts to harvest. "Soo-oo... Who wants to speak first?"

"Skywarp," Jazz offered before anybody else could even process Ratchet's question/unspoken threat.

"...Thundercracker?" Optimus proposed after a glance at Ironhide who sighed, relenting.

Ratchet eyed Megatron with all the distrust and disapproval he could be bothered to let drift to the surface. "And you?"

"He didn't think of a name!" Jazz blurted, clearly determined to have him suffer.

"_Beige_-" Megatron felt optics blister into him as Ratchet seethed.

"I told you to think of a name."

"And I already had."

"You are _not_ calling him _beige_. Do you want him to be ridiculed?"

"Are you offering?"

Ratchet snarled at Megatron, who became a little concerned for his survival.

Optimus, who was watching him suspiciously, messaged Ironhide digitally. /He's already got one_./_

_/He's doing a fine job of saving his own aft then./_

There was always a miniscule pause before Ratchet exploded- and it was in this Megatron addressed the Seeker sorrowfully. "You're going to be ridiculed anyway, so I may as well call you Starscream."

Jazz laughed. "_Oh,_ they're going to ask why he's called that."

Megatron gave him a withering look. "At least he'll attract femmes."

Prime clenched a fist. "You owe me those credits, 'hide."

"You shouldn't be betting," Ironhide hurriedly rebuffed before Ratchet's attentions were painfully diverted. "I cannot give you them!"

"_Dishonourable_-"

Ratchet kicked Megatron. "You fool!"

"I gave him a designation," the silver mech complained. "What's your problem?"

"You!"

The beige sparkling squawked loudly.

"See? He's thrilled to have _another_ name."

After recovering from his short-lived sulk that Megatron (seemingly) _wasn't _going to be vaporised, Jazz jiggled on the spot. "So we have Skywarp, Insert-long-name-here and beige?"

"_Thundercracker_," Optimus scowled.

Ironhide's rumbling cannons backed the name up.

Megatron seemed perfectly content. "Beige is fine by me."

"Beige is _not_ fine. Starscream it is," Ratchet concluded.

Prime sighed happily. "Aren't we all just a big, joyous family?"

Jazz was the only one who looked excited by this idea. "Y'_bet_ we are_!_"

"...We will be_,_" Optimus assured in a suddenly firm and authorative manner. "We _will_ be."

"How did you come up with _Thundercracker_?" Prowl asked thoughtfully.

"We-ll," Ironhide began slowly, "that's a rather painful story."

* * *

:3 I honestly could have continued this chapter, but I didn't want it to get too long. I hope you enjoyed! Please leave any comments like '_LAUGHABLY UNIMAGINATIVE_' in a review. :D

Oh, and that's another thing. If you do leave a review, please help me out. I've been told, rather _firmly_ ;D, that I should be a Beta reader. Would you **entrust **your stories with me? 8D

I really hope this has given you a break from work/school. We all deserve it. :D Gahhh, exam results on Thursday. Good luck to anybody getting theirs too!

Next time, amongst other things, we discover how Thundercracker came about! ...Well, his name. Not his actual self. That's another story, and not one I'm going to write. ;D All I say is that Optimus unintentionally gets his revenge back on Ironhide for being impaled by his own swords back in Chapter TWO.

See you THEN!


	5. Black And Blue No More

I have been an author on here for over a year now. Woahh, it doesn't seem that long. ;O

I deliberated over this chapter for a while, but I think it's ready. Ahhhh, my dog gives me so much inspiration for Starscream. She's _just_ as retarded.

Anyway, thank you, gorgeous reviewers and people who added, etcetera! ;D

We be starting with the flashback in which TC gets his name, arrr. xD

Let's be off. ;3

* * *

_Ironhide pushed open the doors abruptly, cannons whirling as he pointed them around the averagely sized room in suspicion. He glanced about, taking in the large, convoluted control panel and the lack of any living persons within._

_"...All clear."_

_Prime's helm tentatively entered the room, followed by the rest of his body after a brief pause. "Ironhide, are you sure we can-"_

_"Of course," the black warrior answered before a question was completed. "You can go anywhere you damn well please."_

_"But I-"_

_"Shut up and sit down," Ironhide ordered, scanning the room animatedly with narrowed optics._

_Prime nervously seated himself upon a edge of large swivel chair, blue Seeker in arms. "What are you doing?"_

_"Checking for bugs, of course." Ironhide's blue optics peered over the top of a high shelf with great distrust. "...All clean."_

_"Goody?" Optimus offered, completely at a loss._

_"How do we work this?" the black mech demanded, glaring at the control panel as if it had personally offended him. "Ah, no matter. Experiment, Optimus. I shall enter the chamber."_

_"But that's the area where the weather comes forth," the younger mech protested. "Wouldn't it be wiser to experiment whilst you weren't in there in case something goes wrong?"_

_Ironhide, however, clearly did not hear him. "Just twiddle the knobs, it won't be tricky."_

_"I propose we look through this manual." Prime managed to uncover an instruction book on the control desk._

_"Eh?" Ironhide turned._

_Optimus threw the manual to him. "Here-"––_

_It was obliterated by a fusion blast as Ironhide tackled him to the floor (from his seat)._

_There was a moment of silence as the warrior realised that they weren't under attack by flying manuals, and then they climbed to their feet again._

_"You go for the controls," Ironhide ordered, snatching the bewildered Seeker from the ground. "Don't want you to be electrocuted."_

_"Impossible!" Prime declared. "You wouldn't do that-"_

_"**Anything **can happen," the black mech refuted, marching through the automatic door purposefully._

_Optimus watched through the large viewing window before him as Ironhide entered the separate chamber and placed the sparkling on the floor._

_"Right. Let's try... **this **button," he mused, prodding it firmly._

_The room lightened; Ironhide seemed pleased, cannons rotating leisurely._

_Warmth, then._

_He glanced at the Seeker, who was looking at said weapons suspiciously._

_Pouting, Optimus fiddled with a slide- the room shot into blinding white and Ironhide roared in pain._

_"Too much sun," Prime concluded, wincing and hurriedly moving the slide back some._

_Apart from a cautious blink or two, the blue sparkling seemed apathetic once again._

_He contemplated another button and waved a hand, wiggling his fingers at the mech as a signal- he wouldn't be able to hear him. "Ready, 'hide?"_

_There was a stoic nod._

_Gingerly, he pressed it- wind. The lever next to it begged to be moved, so he pushed it a fraction. Nothing. Perhaps the slider? Just move it a little w- his finger slipped, the setting up to maximum._

_The Seeker barked and clung onto Ironhide's leg for fear of being blown away, tiny helm bowed against an invisible force._

_The mech rotated his cannons with a frown. /**Optimus**!/_

_Another button was quickly pressed as the slider was hurriedly reduced- mist, now. The sparkling eyed the swirling grey suspiciously._

_Next, then._

_Prime fiddled with a slide- the mist condensed and rose- then flicked a switch and jabbed another button._

_Rain._

_This displeased Ironhide, who immediately retracted his cannons. The sparkling snapped at the droplets, attempting to eat them._

_Optimus contemplated the board, then twiddled a dial, simultaneously moving several slides and manipulating a lever. A touchscreen flared into life, demanding he- well, he wasn't sure what. Two lifeforms were displayed- probably Ironhide and blue- so he tapped them curiously._

_After a moment, the room darkened slightly and the rain became heavier._

_Ironhide was narrowing his optics, glaring at something above him._

_Optimus twitched- could he have selected them as targets for something? He rapidly stabbed the button labelled 'audio relay'- suddenly he could hear a gathering growling in the other room (and for once, it wasn't Ironhide)._

_"Ironhide, take evasive action!"_

_"What?"_

_"...Just move!"_

_Ironhide dived to the side, sparkling in arms as Prime heard an ominous sneering rumble._

_The Seeker squealed until lightning blasted the vacated area- at which he wailed, clutching onto Ironhide._

_The mech's cannons shot to life. "Optimus?"_

_"I'm sorry! No more storms-!" Prime hurriedly attempted to restore calm._

_"Are you alright?" Ironhide howled, battered by hail._

_"I'm fine!" Optimus quickly reassured, manically fiddling with the controls._

_"Get out of here!" he bellowed, allowing a sudden blizzard to blast into his mouth._

_"'hide, I'm **fine**! I need to-" Optimus hit several buttons and returned some slides-_

_Ironhide was highly wary as a light breeze wafted by him and drizzle began falling. "What is this?"_

_Prime sighed with relief, rapidly typing on a holoboard and simultaneously fiddling with a dial- there. Calm, warming sunshine. "...Hey, Ironhide. Think anybody else is having luck?"_

* * *

Jazz was gustily giggling inappropriately.

Prowl raised an optic ridge. "Why call him Thundercracker if he didn't like the lightning?"

"Because he liked the _noise_," Ironhide explained grumpily. "He likes booms."

"Hey, Prowlie- I think we should go there too," Jazz suggested eagerly, a manic gleam lighting his visor.

Prowl did not like that look at all. "But Jazz, we already have a name for Skywarp."

"Naaah, not for junior! For _us_, Prowlie; I want t'see how y'fare in a blizzard."

Optimus gave a silent snort. "I'd like to see Megsy there, personally."

Megatron smiled sweetly. "How about no?"

Beige squawked from his shoulder, then nibbled along his jaw plating.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Optimus asked worriedly, even though his brother appeared completely unconcerned.

"Your flailing, clumsy sparkling arms struck me in the face more than once," Megatron reminded silkily. "Nibbling is nothing. I can cope with a nibble. He's easy compared to you, at any rate."

Starscream (for that is now what we must call him, sweet reader) screeched piercingly directly into his audio receptor.

The deafening shriek caused all members of the room to cringe, but the silver mech had the worst of it.

"Ahhahhhh," he managed to articulate, optic twitching.

Pleased with himself, the sparkling wiggled his wing nubs and returned to his biting.

"Burnnnnnned," Jazz gasped sympathetically.

With a quiet whimper, Megatron sat heavily, and attempted to work out whether his audio receptor was still functioning after the unprovoked assault.

Unimpressed with the sudden movement, Starscream growled, talons firmly latched onto the mech's shoulder.

Ratchet looked ridiculously smug. "Don't let him be the boss of you. _Oh_, wait. He already is."

"Not true," Megatron gasped, "not true- I can't hear from that side."

The medic scowled. "Don't expect me to care."

"I expect you to do your _job_," Megatron hissed, still cringing.

Ratchet laughed.

Megatron scowled, then swatted the sparkling off of his shoulder in punishment, then pointed menacingly. "No."

Starscream landed neatly on all fours and frowned.

"No shrieking."

The seekerlet clawed at his arm and wailed briefly.

"_No_!" he hissed. "You're so embarrassing! Look- _look_ at the others. Are they doing that? No."

Skywarp was happily concentrating with quietly batting at Prowl's chevron. They glanced at Thundercracker, who was simply watching them.

The blue seekerlet sighed.

"_See_?" Megatron demanded. "Why must you shriek and be so- so noisy? Why do I have the Seeker with issues?" He thought suddenly, then glanced around. "Will anybody swap?"

Jazz tottered backwards, pulling the tactician back with him. "Get away from junior, you- y'fiend!"

"I wouldn't particularly want a VOP-creature anyway," Megatron declared pointedly.

Optimus couldn't stand to see his brother in pain, his own Spark aching in sympathy. "I suppose we could-"

"No, Optimus, _no-oo,_" Ironhide groaned quietly. "We don't want beige!"

"It doesn't matter," Prime announced sternly. "We mustn't let Megatron suffer."

"Why should _we_ suffer?" the black mech pointed out.

"Because that's what brothers are for," Optimus justified. "I know you aren't Megsy's brother, 'hide, so I understand if you don't want to help. I shall do it alone if I must."

Ironhide slapped a hand into his own face and groaned. "Very well."

Prime beamed, then addressed the seekerlet. "Well, Thundercracker, it was nice naming you. You were- you were just terrific."

Thundercracker suspiciously eyed him with a slight incredulity.

"Quickly, 'hide. Say your goodbyes," Prime ordered with a quiet waver to his voice.

"Sweet _Primus,_" Ironhide muttered. "Bye, TC."

Optimus pouted in noble thought. "TC? Is that an acronym for 'Take Care'?"

"_Noooo,_" Ironhide established. "I couldn't be bothered to say _Thundercracker_."

Ratchet approved.

And thus it became so.

"Farewell, good TC!" Jazz wailed, burying his face into Prowl's chassis.

Skywarp glanced at him, distracted from his attempts to chevron-whack, and shrieked with joy before throwing the top half of his miniscule body over the top of Jazz's helm.

"I've been _glomped_," Jazz sobbed, overcome with emotion.

"It isn't like you won't see Thundercracker ever again," Megatron pointed out. "He's just swap-"

"How could y_'swap_ y'baby?" the small mech demanded. "How immoral!"

Prowl sighed solemnly. "You clinging onto my chassis is immoral."

"Perhaps in front'a _sparklings _it is," Jazz teased, winking with his visor again.

It looked like he had a sort of optical malfunction, Prowl's weary processor noted.

Megatron rose to his feet delightedly, picking Starscream up by the scruff at the same time.

The sparkling blinked as he was dismissively dropped into (an equally delighted [or not]) Ironhide's arms.

Optimus handed Thundercracker to his brother with a brave nod.

"Thank you," Megatron acknowledged sincerely, then glanced down at the Seeker. "Hello, blue."

Thundercracker sniffed at him, then stretched up to place his talons on Megatron's chassis and sniffed him further.

Starscream watched him intently until the other seekerlet settled back into Megatron's arm with a satisfied grunt.

Ironhide had to cling onto the beige sparkling as he abruptly screeched and tried to jump away.

Megatron glanced over. "Enjoy your retard."

Ironhide scowled as Starscream yowled, wriggling frantically. "...I'm sure I will."

The silver mech turned away, and shared a disapproving look with Thundercracker. It was so _nice_ to have a sparkling that wasn't a buzzing, shrieking ball of energy. It was so nice, in fact, that he felt compelled to stroke the blue mechling's wing nubs.

Thundercracker purred, optics slightly closing in pleasure.

In a blur of motion, Starscream mauled Ironhide's finger.

The black mech growled in pain, but only held the struggling sparkling more tightly.

Starscream screeched, biting and snapping wildly.

Megatron cast them a sympathetic glance.

"You should go," Ironhide suggested. "Your presence is probably making this worse."

With a soft sigh (and defying the major grumblings and protests of the black mech), Optimus took the seekerlet hastily. "No, Starscream."

Starscream buried into his chassis with a howl and squirmed until he was as close as he could possibly be to the mech's spark before wailing quietly.

Jazz was spark-broken. "Ah can't watch anymore!"

Prowl jumped on the opportunity. "It makes perfect sense to leave, in that case."

The silver mech clasped a softly clawed hand around Prowl's arm and tugged him towards the door with unbelievable strength. "Y'right, Prowlie!"

"_I _don't want to leave!" Prowl hurriedly cried, trying to break free.

"Y'_do_, Prowlie, y'_do_."

"Perhaps," Ratchet suddenly suggested, "you should help _Prowl_, Optimus."

"I'm sure that- that Prowl is perfectly qualified to deal with his situation," Prime responded hopefully.

"Wonderful answer. I expected no less."

Optimus was clearly troubled by the tactician's torment, however. "...Jazz! You never explained where _Skywarp_ originated from."

Jazz bounded back into the room with a cry of delight. "I'll tell y'now!"

Prowl snuck away and edged out of the door with such joy on his face that he might well have burst into happy tears a moment later.

He might well also have escaped, had Skywarp not noticed.

VOP.

Jazz blinked. "Junior?" A moment later, he noticed that Prowl had disappeared, and dived to the door with a cry.

"The story, Jazz," Optimus nearly pleaded. "The story!"

"Prowlie has gone after our disappearin' baby!" Jazz determined.

VOP.

CRASH.

Skywarp reappeared along with Prowl, the tactician tumbling to the ground.

There was a moment of shocked silence.

"Prowl?" Ironhide enquired.

There was no response.

"Prowlie?" Jazz whispered, dropping to his knees.

The tactician twitched suddenly with a groan, and slowly reached for and clutched his helm. "Aaaaaaargh. Dizzy, dizzy."

Jazz was about to speak/wail in joy, but wisely held back when Ratchet wandered over.

"How dizzy?"

"Dizzy enough to be checked over," Prowl mumbled, optics tightly shut and trying to sit up.

"You _mustn't_ feel right if you want a check-up," Ratchet diagnosed, hauling him to his feet. "Into my _office_."

Skywarp gave a high-pitched growl and tried to bound after him, but then stopped with a huge yawn and toppled over.

"WARPY?" Jazz shrieked. "Mah loved ones fall one by one!"

Ratchet reappeared and poked the sparkling. "His energy levels are depleted. I presume teleporting Prowl's mass in addition to his own was too much."

He plucked the recharging Seeker into the air and returned to his office.

Jazz looked like he was about to cry.

"Tell us the story," Megatron hurriedly commanded.

"W-well," the saboteur sniffled bravely, "I'll do mah best. We- Prowlie-" A slight sob- "Prowlie an' I went up t' the roof again."

POOF.

* * *

_Prowl sighed. "This is ridiculous, Jazz. We shouldn't be on the roof with a sparkling."_

_"We should let him be free!" Jazz declared._

_Prowl was silent. "What makes you even consider that as a good idea?"_

_"Mah cunnin' an' witty processor," the saboteur beamed._

_"Perchance, did you hear Lord Megatron? He told us not to let go of this seekerlet, and there will be a good reason for it."_

_"Pishtush!" Jazz cried. "Orders are there t'be dismissed! Especially Megatron's."_

_"No, they aren't!"_

_"Hoorah for anarchy!" the silver mech cried, hurling the sparkling into the air._

_It squawked in surprise, then started falling._

_"You **fool**," Prowl sighed, losing the will to live._

_The mechling suddenly VOPped- and reappeared above their helms, instantly falling._

_Reaching up to catch him, Jazz stared incredulously as it VOPped again, appearing a little further up._

_And so this continued- the Seeker would VOP and appear midair- start falling, then VOP a little higher._

_"Gah!" Jazz wailed, jumping for and not managing to reach the Seeker. "Baby, come back!"_

_Prowl watched the black sparkling with a slight frown._

_"Where is he goin', Prowlie?" Jazz cried, finally giving in and staring unhappily._

_The tactician was silent._

_Jazz glared at him furiously. "That's our baby, Prowlie! Use that processor an' think of something!"_

_Prowl broke out of his concentration. "He must have warped at least fifty times within this past klik."_

_"So?" the silver mech demanded._

_"And he's a sparkling." Prowl's tone was conclusive._

_Jazz had the feeling he was missing something. "Your point, Prowlie?"_

_"He'll run out of energy," the tactician proposed. "And he will be unable to warp further. Thus, we will catch him."_

_"...Smooth, Prowlie. How long d'you think it'll take?"_

_"I have no idea."_

_They watched the Seeker for a while- he was still VOPping steadily higher._

_"He made of energy?" Jazz demanded. "Why isn't he weary yet?"_

_Prowl chose not to make a dry comment on the irony of **Jazz **saying this._

_A sudden frustrated yap caught their full attentions- the mechling seemed under pressure, his tiny face screwed in concentration. He VOPped again._

_"Aha," Prowl murmured, sharp processor immediately calculating every trajectory and possible landing the sparkling could have. "Jazz, two paces to the right."_

_The saboteur grinned devilishly. "My right or your right, Prowlie?"_

_"Work it out."_

_Jazz pouted and hopped to the designated location._

_At that moment, the Seeker squawked angrily and began falling properly- arms wiggling and squealing in delight- before flopping neatly into Jazz's arms._

_"We should go indoors," Prowl suggested._

* * *

Jazz sniffled again, sucking in a deep ventilation. "Ah s'pose some things just- just aren't s'posed t'be."

"Ohhhhh _Jaaaaaazz...!_" Ratchet suddenly called.

Jazz's audio receptors pricked up, and he danced to the office door. "Ratchy-coo?"

"Prowlie-wowlie's processor is still reeling from his spinnywinny," Ratchet informed with a decidedly unconvincingly sad face. "He'll be better soony-woony."

Jazz hugged the medic around his luminous middle. "Ah love yer!"

"You should not love me," Ratchet replied disdainfully. "You should worship me."

The saboteur fell to his knees enthusiastically and splayed across the floor. "Ah worship yer!"

"Perhaps," Ratchet continued, accepting the praise like the god he was, "Perhaps you should take Prowl to a berth and supervise him to be sure he is alright."

"Jus' f'tonight, Ratchy?" Jazz asked, visor gleaming.

"For the rest of his existence," the CMO answered. "But leave the sparkling in the incubator, for Primus' sake."

"If it mus' be done, Ratchy!"

Everybody eventually dispersed- Megatron placed Thundercracker into the incubator and gave him a well-received wing stroke, Jazz snuggled and kissed and hugged Skywarp and lovingly tucked him under a fluffy blanket, and a despairing Optimus had to shove a howling Starscream into it.

It was no small mercy when the screen slid up and the wailings were muted.

"Sweet god," Ratchet commented disgustedly, "We need a muzzle."

"We just have to wait until their parents get here," Prowl mumbled, half-conscious. "Not long."

After ordering them all to return early the next orn, Ratchet waited until they had left (Jazz escorting a terrified Prowl into the private rooms of the medbay). Of course, he had to find out which room they had gone into, else Jazz might be singing all night and depriving Prowl of his recharge. This was never a good idea.

In the end, Ratchet re-escorted both of them from the sound-proofed room furthest from his office to the one closest (Jazz had obviously planned to burst into a one-mech pop band), and told Prowl firmly to simply comm. him if Jazz was too irritating.

He dusted his hands off and wandered back into his office. Such was the life of Ratchet. It was rather good, actually. Each orn there was somebody to demean and laugh at.

Ah yes, the seekerlets. He should just scan them to ensure their health and growth rate was normalising.

Pausing in front of the incubator, the medic instantly became aware of a pressing issue.

He scanned the container despairedly. No, it appeared that the beige sparkling was neither snuggled under a fluffy blanket nor squashed beneath the other snoozling seekerlets (Thundercracker was recharging over the top of Skywarp for reasons the mech couldn't quite understand).

"Where the Pit is that menace?" Ratchet scanned the room.

Nothing.

The two remaining Seekers opened an optic each and watched him curiously.

"Megatron," Ratchet commed furiously, "Have you taken the beige Pit-spawn?"

"_Beige?_" came Megatron's bewildered, sleepy reply some moments later. "_I like my recharge, thank you. How much do you think I'd get with the shrieky devil around?_"

"Point taken," the CMO growled. "But I warn you, whatever treatment is given to him _now _will define him. If you want a spoilt, wayward and insolent brat of a mech wandering Cybertron, this would be the right way about it."

"_Ratchet, did you even listen to me? I haven't moved him._" Megatron was sounding much more alert. _"Has he gone missing again?"_

The CMO was loath to admit that he had been bested somehow by a sparkling- because he couldn't have been. "Some idiot has let him out."

"_Can you think of anyone with a grudge against you_ _who might do such a thing_?" Megatron laughed.

"Can you think of anyone with a grudge who would _dare_ do such a thing?"

* * *

Megatron scowled, then glanced about his room suspiciously- even scanned it.

Nothing.

Sighing, he closed his optics and-

Woke up.

Blinking, he consulted his internal chronometer. He had recharged for five joors straight- so why had he woken up? He frowned momentarily- he was a deep recharger (though not to the extent of Optimus, who just didn't know how to awaken). Well, it didn't matter, really.

He shuttered his optics again, then heard something; a tiny scratch at the door.

Perhaps Jazz had been for a check-up again, and needed somebody to immediately whinge to. Then again, perhaps it was a hysterical Prowl needing some sort of sanity.

Megatron heaved himself off of the berth and slouched over to the entrance to his room, where he considered the control panel for the door moodily, then prodded the _open_ function. It slid open, unsurprisingly.

Nobody was there- unless Ratchet had diminished Jazz's height or something. Or Prowl was crying on the floor.

He glanced down despondently.

Beige was staring up at him joyfully- if he had a tail, it would be wagging furiously.

Megatron hastily jabbed _close_.

The soothing door slid back into place, covering the nightmare behind it.

If Megatron went back to his berth quickly, he could just pretend it was a dream.

He was just about to head back when there was a creaky wail.

"_No_," Megatron hissed at the door, highly aware that other mechs were in their own rooms.

It yowled mournfully.

The mech punched at the control panel, whereupon the Seeker reappeared with a happy squeal.

"Shut up!" Megatron hurriedly snapped at it in a low, furious growl. "Don't you dare wake Optimus- and do you realise how much trouble I'll get in if Ratchet knows you're here?"

Starscream blinked, quietening.

"Go back to Ratchet," Megatron ordered and then quickly closed the door. He instantly heard a muffled yelp and opened it again, ramming his claw against the panel as if this would make it speed up.

The door took forever to open on the cringing sparkling, who had raised one of his forelimbs off the floor and was eyeing it, whimpering.

Megatron sighed at the pitiful sight and crouched down, one knee to the floor with a hand's claws extended. "Give me that."

Starscream limped forwards and, after a moment's hesitation, awkwardly raised the limb for inspection.

Megatron carefully spread the tiny talons, wary of frightening the Seeker. "You don't appear injured."

Starscream yapped.

"It could be serious if it's underlying. I suppose I'll have to take you to Ratchet, then."

Starscream growled as the mech picked him up, then snuggled into his chassis.

"Don't get comfortable," Megatron warned.

Starscream squawked, wing nubs twitching contentedly.

Megatron scowled- considering drop-kicking him to the medbay- but decided against it, seeing as he might crash into some precious equipment of Ratchet's. That wouldn't be fun.

He decided against using the lift, and meandered down the ramps instead, whistling quietly to himself.

Starscream listened attentively, softly cheeping now and then.

"See, beige? You can be nice," Megatron noted.

The sparkling was actually dozing by the time the medbay came into sight.

"_Ratchet_?" Megatron hissed, peering around the door.

Starscream jolted awake. His helm rapidly turned- after realising their location, the sparkling squeaked at him miserably and attempted to burrow his helm under Megatron's arm.

"What?" the mech demanded. "I'm not having you sneak into my room."

The helm re-emerged and the beseeching optics widened further in a clear plea.

"No," Megatron firmly denied.

The wing nubs wobbled slightly, and then Starscream began to cry.

"Sweet Primus," Megatron sighed heavily.

The Seeker didn't wail or howl (highly surprising), but was instead quietly weeping, miniscule tears running down his cheekplates, drooping wing nubs slightly trembling.

It would have been easier if he had bawled, because at least then Megatron could have had an excuse to be angry or irritated. How could one condemn an upset sparkling?

"Stop that," he ordered gently.

Starscream sniffled softly and buried his helm under the arm again- but not before Megatron saw a fresh wave of tears.

He entered the medbay quietly, peering around for the medic. "_Ratchet-!_"

The CMO appeared after a moment from his office, initially concerned- then he caught sight of the quivering bundle and his optics narrowed. "So you _did_ take him."

"No," Megatron hissed, "I did not. He appeared at my room."

"Did you stamp on him? Why is he crying?" Ratchet demanded.

"I assume it is because I wouldn't let him recharge with me."

"Gosh," Ratchet frowned. "I would have expected a shrieking tantrum. Actually, no- I would have expected silence. I expected that you would give in."

Megatron scowled, then shifted the Seeker into his claws and handed him to a sighing Ratchet.

Starscream miserably curled into a ball.

"Tough," Ratchet told him. "We don't always get what we want."

"I _will_ see you tomorrow," Megatron tried to appease.

Starscream didn't even register the fact that he had spoken, unless a slightly harder sob wracking his entire body was a response.

"I had better go," the silver Cybertronian declared, then paused in his exit. "What are you still doing up?"

"Nothing," the CMO replied, heading back into the depths of his office.

* * *

Megatron awoke early.

It had taken far too long for him to return to recharge and he knew what the problem was. With a sigh, he rose and returned to the medbay, entering Ratchet's office.

The medic raised an optic ridge at him. "Oho."

"Oho yourself," the silver mech replied.

"He's not happy," Ratchet informed, optics on a datapad. "Didn't recharge at _all_."

Megatron nearly winced. "That isn't my fault."

"I didn't say it was."

"You said it like it was."

"Because it is probably true," Ratchet announced. "He was perfectly happy to recharge with _you_."

"How do you know that?" Megatron demanded.

"You_ fool_, he was doing so in your arms."

"Beige?" Megatron called hopefully, optics glancing towards the incubator, which opened upon command from Ratchet (apparently the medic was taking no further chances with escaping sparklings). Megatron almost expected a shrieking ball to fling itself out and viciously attack his face in punishment. "...Beige?"

The Seeker didn't even move.

The blue one- Thundercrunker or whatever its name was- eyed Megatron, and then both he and Skywarp snuggled closer to beige. Deliberately, it seemed. Spitefully.

"I get it," Megatron scowled. "You don't need to rub it in. Don't tell me he's got abandonment issues or something."

"He might well do," Ratchet suggested unexpectedly. "Seekers are an odd sort. Sometimes they reject their own offspring if not up to par."

"Starscream, I'm sorry," Megatron offered, aware that was an incredibly feeble utterance at any rate. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Starscream's huge optics suddenly appeared and blinked up at him, helm tilting slightly.

Megatron offered his arm hopefully. "Walk?"

The Seeker shot up onto his shoulder with such speed that a stunned Megatron was still looking at the incubator even as Starscream was nestling into his neck armour.

"I'm sorry," the silver mech crooned, stroking him. "I am."

Ratchet rolled his optics and continued inspecting his datapad. "You manipulative devil."

"At least he now understands that there are boundaries," Prowl suggested.

Skywarp shrieked hysterically at the new voice and VOPped.

He reappeared on the tactician's chassis, clinging onto it with a scream of joy.

"Primus," Prowl whispered, "why would you burden me with the happy crew?"

Jazz flung himself into the room, hesitating ever so minutely as he saw Skywarp hugging Prowl, then dived for the tactician with a delighted cry. "Prowlie, Prowlie, you're already bein' th'father ah knew you'd be!"

"What does that make you?" Prowl asked scathingly. "The mother?"

"No," Jazz beamed, fist-bumping him gently. "We'll be daddies together!"

"That doesn't _work_," Prowl hissed.

"Don't take th'ggressive tone with me, Prowlie," Jazz warned. "'specially not in front'a Junior."

"We don't have a Junior. We have a _Skywarp_." Prowl growled.

"So y'admit that _we_ do have a baby!" Jazz triumphantly cried.

Prowl shook his helm silently, optics burning in the opposite direction. Megatron shrugged sympathetically, Starscream quietly nibbling his neck armour.

"COME TO YOUR DADDY WHO LOVES YOU," Jazz roared, arms akimbo.

Skywarp howled with glee and hurled himself at the saboteur.

"Wait here," came a gruff order from outside.

Optimus' soft rumble was next. "But-"

"I heard a disturbance," Ironhide declared. "Now wait there."

The warrior burst into the room with a wild roar.

Ratchet snapped his fingers, and water cascaded from a sneaky compartment in the ceiling.

Ironhide gasped as the icy substance crashed into him.

Starscream yelped, then was abruptly silent and instead hid behind a piece of Megatron's armour.

Optimus entered a moment later and had no trouble believing in the scene before him. "...Are we back with Thundercracker?"

"For now," Megatron answered as Starscream twittered. "Beige is behaving thus far."

"So when he doesn't behave, _we_ get him?" Prime deduced with a frown.

"Damn straight."

"Ironhide," Ratchet suddenly asked, "why have you made that mess in my office?"

The shocked mech was still frozen, ventilating shakily. "Gaa-ahh."

Megatron sighed heavily.

Starscream turned, then squawked softly. Thundercracker peered out of the incubator and clambered out after a moment, then wandered over to the giant water spillage on the floor and inspected it.

Prowl was trying to edge away. "I have things that I must do today, so I am afraid no more time can be spent with sparklings."

Jazz shook his helm delightedly. "I delegated tasks t'y'minions!"

"Excuse me?"

"Y'minions," the saboteur repeated joyfully. "I used y'rights, Prowlie, and y'minions are doin' yer work."

Skywarp watched with huge optics, then squealed as Prowl's optics flickered.

"You did _what_, Jazz?"

"Ah thought y'were unfit f'duty," Jazz explained. "Cause y'VOPped an' all."

"My work," Prowl whispered.

Skywarp jumped onto the tactician's chassis with a sympathetic wail and snuggled him.

With the most bored expression ever seen in Ratchet's office changing into quiet concentration, Thundercracker placed one of his forelimbs into the puddle and frowned.

_Boom._

The ripples spread through the water, waving towards Ironhide's feet.

The warrior's cannons immediately swivelled to life, but upon glancing at his target, the soggy, miserable mech refrained from blasting the sparkling.

"What is he doing?" Optimus enquired.

"Booming," Megatron replied absently.

Prime raised an optic ridge. "Are you referring to Ironhide or Thundercracker?"

"All of this requires examination," Ratchet mused interestedly. "Wear them out today, my fools. I shall investigate them thoroughly upon return."

"Are you joking?" Megatron demanded. "'Wear this monster out'?"

Prowl, gently placing Skywarp on the floor, was incredulous. "Do you realise that this- this seekerlet doesn't know the meaning of the word?"

Optimus was downcast. "But Thundercracker doesn't _move_."

Jazz was thrilled. "We can run around with Skywarp an' skip an' hop-"

Prowl scowled. "He doesn't run, Jazz. He VOPs. He'll probably VOP away, never to be seen again."

Ironhide sighed, shaking a sodden arm. "We could just shoot at TC. He'll move _then_."

Ratchet looked over his datapad. "Why are you all still here? Would you like check-ups?"

Jazz and Prowl sped out of the door. After an astrosecond, Skywarp bounded after them with a happy shriek.

"Come here, boy!" Optimus enthused suddenly.

The blue mechling blinked at him.

Ironhide sighed, moving towards the door. "TC, this way."

There was no response.

"Thundercracker," Prime urged. "Come on."

"Move," Ironhide pleaded.

"Please?"

Thundercracker finally stirred- but in the wrong direction; wandering back over to the incubator and springing inside.

Starscream watched all of this intently from Megatron's shoulder, flicking his wing nubs occasionally.

The silver mech clicked to himself. "Starscream, sort him out."

The seekerlet grizzled quietly, talons kneading his perch.

"Do it," Megatron commanded firmly.

Starscream whined softly, glancing up at him.

"_Now._"

The Seeker miserably jumped down, then looked back at him beseechingly.

Megatron stared at him pointedly.

Eventually, Starscream leapt into the incubator; twittering and squawking ensued.

Thundercracker's faintly less piercing tones grumbled, followed by a pained bark.

The blue mechling grumpily clambered out of the incubator and dawdled over to Optimus before squawking sulkily.

Prime picked him up with a blink. "Good Thundercracker."

Starscream shot out of the incubator and dashed over to sit by Megatron's foot with a happy whine.

"Clever boy," the mech praised. "Is he going to behave himself?"

The Seeker glanced at Thundercracker with a menacing baring of his fangs.

The blue sparkling shrieked from the safety of Optimus' arms.

Hissing, Starscream's wing nubs flared, and he rose slightly on his back legs with a louder screech.

"Well," Ironhide proposed, "if they fought each other that would certainly tire them."

"_Ironhide_," Prime reprimanded disapprovingly, "**_No_**."

"Enough," Megatron ordered, sweeping past the others. "Come on, beige. We have to wear you out somehow."

Starscream bounded after him after a final snarl at Thundercracker.

* * *

Whilst deciding on what he could actually do to exhaust Starscream, Megatron wandered about Iacon.

"Behave," he impressed upon the Seeker. "No wandering off."

A compliant Starscream had actually attempted to perch on his shoulder again, but Megatron had denied him.

"_Exercise_. No cheating. You'll never be a fit and healthy Seeker if you sit on me all of the time."

The mechling had initially panicked, but eventually realised that Megatron wasn't trying to desert him. Even so, he darted along by Megatron's feet so closely that the mech feared he would accidentally crush the tiny Cybertronian. Luckily, it seemed that so far Starscream was agile enough to avoid being crunched into the ground.

They meandered down the streets in this manner for a while until a citizen suddenly threw himself in Megatron's path.

Damn, he should have seen this one coming.

"I sent you some of my energon!" he cried. "Did you get my energon?"

Megatron glared at him, both repulsed and slightly unnerved.

"You have a- a seekerlet now!" the purple mech shouted, optics gleaming as he spotted the bewildered sparkling sitting by Megatron's feet. "Do you like my new colour?" he continued excitedly when there was no reply. "I heard you like purple, so I became purple! It was a lot of effort and took a lot of time, but it's worth it because-"

"You're an idiot," Megatron replied witheringly. "Purple is not my favourite colour. I don't even have an opinion on it. Just go away."

Shockwave didn't even particularly look like a creep until you got to know him. 'Got to know him' in this scenario meaning 'until he stalked you so often that he was certain to pop up nearly wherever you went'. It was his optics that were particularly unsettling, Megatron realised. They glinted at you with some essence of madness barely concealed within.

"But can't you give me some of your energon?" Shockwave pleaded.

"Why, _why_ would I do that, freaky stalker?"

"Because I'm your _best _stalker! No other compares to me!"

Megatron growled as the creepy Cybertronian edged closer.

A bristling Starscream stalked fluidly in front of the silver mech and snarled, hackles rising.

Shockwave glanced down. "Move, pestilence!"

Starscream bared his fangs and hissed lowly.

"Lord Megatron is mine!" Shockwave cried, brandishing a fist. "You will not take him from me! If I must beat you to get to him, then I shall!"

"You even come _near_ my Seeker, and you will find a neat fusion blast through your spark," Megatron hissed.

"Would your cannon touch me?" the mech asked eagerly after consideration.

Megatron blinked at him distastefully and strode away. "Starscream, come."

The bridling sparkling screeched, wing nubs prickling.

"I'll get you," Shockwave cried. "This isn't the last you'll see of me!"

Without stopping or turning around, Megatron's cannon materialised. "Persist and this will be the last _you_ see."

Shockwave took a step forward- Starscream furiously sprang at his hand, ripping his fangs into it before pouncing for his face.

Shockwave was howling in pain as he tried to tear the Seeker away, but those vicious talons seemed permanently latched onto his features.

Two astroseconds later, Starscream darted to the ground, damage done. He hissed a warning, then turned and scuttled after Megatron.

"Is _that_ how it is?" Shockwave snarled in agony, a trembling hand to his bleeding face. "We'll see about that-!"

* * *

Starscream was grizzling unhappily as he trotted beside Megatron.

"It's alright." The mech tried to offer some comfort. "He is unsettling, but he's never once followed through with a threat or a promise. He just pops up a lot of the time."

Starscream flicked his wing nubs rapidly, then chirruped and stopped moving.

After a moment, Megatron halted too. "What?"

The seekerlet pawed at his leg with a twitter.

"Fine, fine. But only because you seem unnerved by the weirdo," Megatron justified.

Starscream scurried up onto his shoulder with a delighted shriek.

Megatron was so pleased to hear the familiar noise that he didn't even care that it was nearly beside his audio receptor. Besides, it wasn't _too_ loud.

"I have an idea, beige. We shall go to the park."

The park was in all essentiality an expanse of wasteland- but beautiful wasteland. Towering and tremendous structures grew there that hadn't been commissioned, the ground even sparkled in some places like some rare minerals from a forgotten age. It was wild, untameable- but awe-inspiring.

"Perhaps we should explore the caves one orn, beige," Megatron proposed. "Legend has it that the unexplored ones have swallowed countless idiots."

Ratchet's berthtime tales had told him this in slightly stronger terms- terms that Megatron deemed inappropriate for a sparkling.

He seated himself by a spiralling formation with a contented sigh- then realised that he had sat on something.

"Ugh," the mech noticed disgustedly, picking it up gingerly. "Junk."

He hurled it away (it wasn't littering; the metal actually decomposed under the right conditions), then closed his optics with the intention of a well-deserved rest. There was a slight rush of air against him suddenly, and he basked in the warmth from the sun- why had there been some wind, especially only against one small part of his arm? His optics snapped open, only to find the sparkling had disappeared.

A blur caught his attention as Starscream shot across the ground.

Megatron heaved himself upright, preparing to give chase, when Starscream stopped suddenly, quite a distance away.

Megatron watched warily- perhaps the Seeker had just been spooked by something and would come back in a moment.

Starscream suddenly started bouncing and springing about around one particular area frenziedly.

"Starscream, you_ retard_," the mech scowled. "Come back here."

The sparkling paused with a yap, helm whipping round to look at him.

"_Here_._"_

Starscream paused in consideration, then shrieked piercingly.

"_No_!" Megatron hissed.

Starscream threw back his helm and howled.

The silver Cybertronian hastily hauled himself to his feet and hurried over, unwilling to waste precious time and effort trying to cajole the sparkling to stop. Avoiding angry, deafened strangers was preferable (not that he couldn't take them on. He was Megatron, after all).

Growling to himself, he stormed over to the seekerlet, who had sat back on his haunches with a delighted yap. Megatron was about to wrench Starscream up into the air by the scruff when the sparkling began pawing at something on the ground in front of him.

"What is it?"

Starscream managed to move the small object slightly, then nudged it towards Megatron with his nasal-plates, looking up expectantly.

Megatron lifted it up for closer examination, and found it was exactly like- no, it _was_ the scrap metal he had tossed away earlier. "It's _junk_, Starscream. We don't waste our time with rubbish."

Starscream shrieked and sprang up towards his hand, but failed to reach anywhere near his target. Upon falling back to the ground, he immediately crouched lowly, preparing to jump again.

"No," Megatron snapped, waving the apparently highly desirable object further out of reach.

The seekerlet whined, clawing as far up the mech's leg as he could (which happened to be just above his foot).

"Why would you want to carry junk around?" Megatron demanded. "If you simply want something to bite or whatever, we'll find something else."

Starscream twittered miserably, wing nubs drooping.

Megatron sighed- then an idea formed. He liked this idea. "Fine, for _now_. And only for now," he added hastily, drawing an arm back before throwing it as far as possible.

Starscream sped after it with an ecstatic howl.

* * *

If you want to see anything more of anyone in particular, tell me, tell me!

PS. If you liked Apparition-Optimus from the library in one of the previous chapters, you may well want to check out one of my new fics, _Brotherhood_. It's got sparkling Oppy in it. :'D

Next chapter we may come across a tentacled Cybertronian and his kitty. ;D

Until then! 8D


	6. It Isn't A Panther, Soundwave

Greetings, everyone! :D Thank you for the kind reviews. Hope you're well and all, and ready for some cracky weird goodness. Grughhh, I really must update my fics more.  
This wasn't long in coming, heheh. C; Hope it doesn't disappoint!

Oh, and to **anonybot**, you may well be onto something. ;) I don't want to give much away, buttt you're certainly on the right lines. :D

PS. Upon formatting, ff has decided to italic-ify random large chunks of the chapter.

-RAGE-

I've tried to nab them all, but if you see any inane sections that don't seem like they should be emphatic, please tellez-moi. :D (I think I found them all. There is quite a lot of italic-ification anyway.)

ONWARDS!

* * *

Of course, nothing is ever as simple as it should be.

Megatron realised he shouldn't have expected _anything _to do with this brat-Seeker to be simple (he simply realised it too late, is all).

His processor may well have reasoned _what could go wrong with a cheery game of fetch?_ but as we all know, whenever said _what could go wrong…_? question pops into your mind or processor, the following proposal is never a very good idea. Instead, you should either proceed with caution or stop. Preferably stop.

Just stop.

Megatron being Megatron, the mech failed to think about this at all- and consequently, two minutes later, he was finding himself yearning for termination.

How, _how _could such an infantile small creature be so- so _infuriating_?

"Come _here,_" he ordered for the thirty-first time, snapping his claws in frustration. It wasn't that he expected the seekerlet to actually obey, but it felt better than just standing like a useless idiot.

Megatron didn't want to process the fact that he probably did look like a useless idiot, so it was with great relief (and a good portion of shock) that he saw Starscream bound towards him, bright optics fixed on his own, the seekerlet spinning excitedly once he got nearer with several shrieky yaps.

Megatron eyed him suspiciously, narrowing his optics ever so slightly as the sparkling stared at him unblinkingly. "I don't trust you, beige**."**

Starscream's optics widened.

"Don't give me that look, whatever _that look is."_

Starscream delicately plonked his aft onto the ground before snapping his jaws repetitively and tilting his helm this way and that.

Megatron was momentarily convinced that the sparkling was having a spasm- however , it soon became apparent that Starscream was in fact attempting to manoeuvre his scrap metal into a better position for biting, which was exactly what he proceeded to do after lying down comfortably, holding the fragment still with his awkward forelimbs.

"We said _no_ to biting," Megatron tried desperately. "Drop it."

A growling Starscream was now twisting his helm at a hideously awkward angle and gnawing on the metal with his back dental plates.

"No, _no_!" Megatron tried to grasp it but the seekerlet dived to the side-just out of reach- then watched him closely. Megatron reached for it again- Starscream sped away, then stopped.

"I am not going to chase you," Megatron informed loftily. "Come here or _else."_

Starscream barked and returned to biting, one optic half-shuttered in concentration.

"I'll put that down to you simply not understanding; let me try a different language." Megatron (oh so calmly, yeass) unsubspaced his cannon.

Unhappily, he didn't see the femme who was peacefully walking past with her youngling.

"Look, mother! That's exciting, you never point a cannon at me!"

Startled by the mother's horrified cry, Starscream's helm jolted up with a yap.

Megatron dived, hurling himself at the younger with all the power he could muster and nearly faceplanted into the ground, his target springing away with terrifying speed.

"_You-!_" he broke off, glaring about furiously.

The briefest glimpse of wide red optics peeking around a small metallic formation betrayed the sparkling's sanctuary.

"_Be-ige,_" he hissed.

There was the briefest of hesitations before the seekerlet peered around his hiding place again. The rest of his body followed slowly as he crept over, belly close to the ground.

Subspacing his cannon, Megatron narrowed his optics again as if the very action would somehow keep the unruly creature from disobeying.

(It seemed to work.)

Starscream skulked to his pedes and sat heavily. He remained in the severe state of desolation for several moments before glancing up hopefully and scratching the mech in a clear plea to climb him, all sins forgiven and forgotten.

"_No,_" Megatron said firmly, resolving to impress a lesson upon the wayward seekerlet.

Optics widened slightly as realisation slowly sank in; instantly tiny shoulders sagged, his helm hanging miserably before tiny limbs just ceased to function and Starscream drooped slowly to the ground.

Megatron was almost disturbed by the drastic difference, but decided not to pay him any attention.

He had more things to do than be servant to the whims and drama of a Seeker.

"Come," he ordered, and swept away.

He had somebody that he needed to see, and so tried to focus on said task in hand rather than the thought that the stubborn beast might not follow him. So it was that Megatron determinedly ignored the intermittent piteous wails and howls trailing along behind- until a hideously familiar being unexpectedly bounded towards him.

"Heya Megsy!"

Megatron wearily glowered in Jazz's direction. "What?"

"Ah see y'havin' fun!" the saboteur beamed.

The problem was that he really did think Megatron was _havin' fun._

The large mech spotted a convenient problem. "Jazz, where are Prowl and Skywarp?"

Jazz froze, then slowly turned around as if he was expecting to see somebody.

Megatron waited patiently as the saboteur twizzled back to him. "They aren't there, Jazz."

Jazz twirled again, just to be sure. "Th'gone!"

"Aren't they just?"

Jazz appeared to be lost for words (_incredible) _and simply stood, astonished.

"Why don't you go and find them?" Megatron suggested hopefully.

"_PROWLIE,_" the small mech roared, presumably into his comm. "PROWLIE WHERE ARE YER!"

In the short interlude, Megatron inconspicuously glanced backwards to catch a moderately distant Starscream instantly and inconspicuously glare in another direction.

"WHAT D'Y'MEAN, Y'_JUST STOPPED WALKIN' A BREEM AGO? _PROWLIE, AH COULDA GONE ON FER AGES!"

Megatron took this as a sign from Primus that he should leave. Obviously it would be rude of him to disturb Jazz, so he had better leave immediately and silently. Quickly, too-if he didn't hurry he would miss Soundwave; the mech was continually leaving his office for social calls.

(Not.)

Although it was a pain, all this walking-! Optimus was the pensive walker, not he. Megatron would much rather fly or at least _drive _to his destination, but he couldn't do so without leaving the seekerlet behind. Unless he squashed the demi-devil into his cockpit? Tempting, but possibly verging on abuse. And it would probably end in tears too: the beast might attack his interior. Pain.

It almost didn't surprise Megatron that Starscream continued periodically (and loudly) lamenting his mistreatment. What was more surprising was when quite suddenly, he detected an unexpected movement. By the time he had calculated trajectories, Starscream had managed to fling himself onto the mech's back, to which he quietly clung like a limpet.

However, after all of the incredibly tiresome trudging he had arrived at his destination, so there was no time to pay the fiend attention anyway or peel it away or something.

Megatron entered without hesitating; Soundwave would know he was coming.

Seated in the centre of a circle of holomonitors, the sturdily-built mech gave a brief twitch of one of his unusual tentacle-like appendages in acknowledgment. Predictably, curled up contentedly by his pedes was a small silver cat. (Ah, no- not cat. _Panther. _Soundwave became very agitated- in a Soundwave-ish way- if you called Ravage a cat.)

Soundwave was… unusual. He simply liked you or he did not- but either way, you'd never hear about it. He was a mech unto himself, yet Megatron knew very well that Soundwave treated him unlike any other.

There weren't many that Soundwave actually liked.

To be fair, there weren't many that liked Soundwave. He kept to himself (to the point of little to no interaction with the world) and those who dared speak without favour were simply stared at. The lucky ones were those he didn't even deign to respond to- a Soundwave Stare (TM) was one of the most chillingly impassive phenomena of the entire universe.

Megatron supposed that Soundwave accepted him because of his lineage- whatever you said about him, the odd mech was incredibly respectful of rank.

Megatron spoke, well aware that the other was listening. "Has Prowl asked for your aid concerning the sparkling hoarder?"

"Response: Prowl _will _in four joors."

"Honestly, Soundwave. The misuse of telepathy should be considered as cheating. If you helped that poor mech to your full capacity I am sure there would be little to no crime on the _whole _of Cybertron_."_

"Soundwave has the information Prowl seeks," the mech replied, with a somewhat nonchalant roll of a tentacle.

"You would be so much more of a help if you _wanted _to help."

"Some: destined for glory," Soundwave replied, even turning his helm to gaze at Megatron fully. "Some: destined to be pillars in shadows."

"Lovely." The twerp was in one of those cryptic moods. Megatron never liked mysticism. He preferred bluntness, truth, and Soundwave was probably reading his processor _right that astro-second. **Twerp, **_Megatron thought viciously and loudly for good measure. "Does that relate to my previous point in any way?" He didn't expect a response, nor did he receive one. They both watched each other for a while: evaluating, judging. "Prowl doesn't like to use you, Soundwave. Why can't you offer him a- tentacle for once? You have plenty to spare."

Soundwave was silent, and Megatron watched an aforementioned tentacle wave around through the air.

He had to restrain the compulsion to blow it into smithereens.

"Possibility," the blue mech eventually muttered almost sulkily, were it possible. "Additional reason for interruption?"

"Ah," Megatron remembered, half-way through rolling his optics at the other's grumping. "Yes. What can you find out for me about Seekers?"

"Depends how far Soundwave is to go," Soundwave replied.

"I am not talking about anything illegal. Just information."

"Information still information no matter the legality," the mech reasoned.

"Then gather what you can by the law," Megatron insisted. "I need no more than that."

Soundwave gave a tentacle-shimmer of acceptance. "State cause of interest."

Megatron paused. "I have come into the temporary guardianship of a seekerlet."

Soundwave paused, apparently scanning the room. "Subject of dialogue is on you."

"He is," Megatron admitted, well aware that the beast was hiding on his back. "Come and see Soundwave, beige."

There was absolutely no movement at all.

"_Beige!"_

Starscream growled lowly and refused to appear.

It was incredibly embarrassing to have somebody watch you be disobeyed and/or completely ignored by a _whatever-Starscream-was._

"He's shy," the silver mech justified quickly, any excuse jumping to processor to avoid sheer humiliation.

Soundwave snorted, the sound so unexpected that Megatron momentarily froze. "Analysis: Starscream not shy."

"This is ridiculous," Megatron concluded before managing to reach behind himself (quite hard to do), locate the seekerlet (not as hard), reach further between his thrusters (ridiculously hard to the point of pain) and in the end have to manipulate his own arm into extending slightly to pluck aforementioned brute into the air. He dangled the Seeker before him. "Beige?"

Starscream hissed lowly, wing nubs bristling as Ravage raised his helm and peered over in the silver mech's direction.

"He seems a little lively," Megatron attempted to apologise as Soundwave eyed him incredulously. "Normally he's so well behaved."

Starscream wailed, struggling madly to wriggle free. The silver mech feared he might escape shortly and never be seen again (something that whilst seeming brilliant left him feeling oddly wrong).

"Would you mind awfully- if the door was closed?" He managed both to ask and hold on, a mighty feat.

"Affirmative," Soundwave replied, watching curiously.

Megatron paused for a moment. "_Why?"_

"Cause: Ravage dislikes enclosed spaces."

The silver mech resisted the temptation to blast the beast into smithereens and instead glanced desolately at the calm panther. "How did you train him to be so well-behaved?"

"Ravage: possesses intelligence."

Megatron did not like the insinuation that beige did _not_, but couldn't help silently agreeing with the other mech as Starscream howled after toothily savaging one of his claws.

Soundwave's facemask twitched slightly. "Request: noise must cease."

"I'm sure it's just Ravage," Megatron hastily explained whilst attempting to crush Starscream into stillness between his claws. "He'll be fine shortly."

Ravage meandered over, tail flicking in a manner far too jaunty before pausing to eye Megatron's burden.

"Good orn to you, Ravage."

The panther opened his maw and barked.

Megatron replayed this several times in his processor and concluded that it was a definite bark. He peered down at it. "Soundwave, are you sure that- nothing has been mixed up in there?"

The other mech blinked his visor.

Megatron decided not to spoil it for him. "…Nothing. Ravage is a- an adorable kitty."

Ravage rumbled his agreement before springing at Megatron's leg.

The silver mech twitched as its claws found purchase through the smallest chink of his armour, scraping jarringly at an inner plate before a slight tug as the cat propelled itself higher, hurling itself upwards-

"He's _eating _my cretin!" Megatron howled as it momentarily kicked itself away again with something familiar shrieking in its mouth.

"An apt conclusion." Soundwave paused. "Soundwave concurs."

"Control your beast," the silver mech ordered, only just repressing the urge to stamp on the menace.

"Cats cannot be controlled," Soundwave protested.

"Control it, or I shall transfer myself to _pest-control."_

Soundwave stared at Megatron for a moment, and his visor brightened slightly. Megatron snarled.

Ravage's helm popped up with a startled growl- although held down by a heavy paw, Starscream bit the panther's lower jaw savagely.

Ravage "_m'roo"ed _in shock before the sparkling shot out with a howl and continued bouncing around the room.

Megatron's optics attempted to follow the erratic path of the crazed mechling. "Look, the nasty kitty is in pain now. Bite him again."

Soundwave clicked disapprovingly as Megatron's claws suddenly shot out and captured his charge. "Noise: cease."

"You can do something about it?" Megatron asked sardonically, preparing to leave. Although he wasn't entirely sure and happy that he would be able to contain the sparkling, the risk of Starscream possibly escaping and fleeing in madness would be better than _this._

"Soundwave can do many things," the mech replied cryptically.

A tentacle approached Megatron's claws.

Megatron resisted the urge to shift away and instead watched fascinated as the appendage curled up around the shaking creature and _shimmered slightly._

"What on Cybertron are you doing?" he hissed, trying not to provoke Starscream with any loud noise.

"Location: under wing nubs. Purpose: sends into narcotic state."

Megatron was half-way through a snort of derision (imagine Starscream quiet) when he realised that as so far, Soundwave's statement was not unproved; the seekerlet had indeed ceased complaint. The silver mech watched almost suspiciously as the silence extended.

"This is incredible," he breathed, hardly daring to break it.

"Soundwave concurs."

They enjoyed the quiet a little while longer before Soundwave's tentacle floated back to Megatron, dropping the quiet brat-thing into his claws.

Starscream yawned widely, then looked up at Megatron with a bewildered squeak.

Something inside Megatron told him that this was not quite right. "Er, how long does it last?"

Soundwave shrugged. "Soundwave attempted experimental technique."

* * *

"Experi_mental?"_ Ratchet demanded as Megatron gingerly entered his 'boudoir'. "What in the Pit is this?"

"Eh?" Megatron frowned. "I haven't told you anything yet!"

"You underestimate my powers," the CMO informed loftily. "Fool, you must be glitched. You _did _comm me. "

"Ah."

"I never expected you to tire him out," the medic grizzled, eyeing the lifeless sparkling. "What did you do?"

This could be the perfect opportunity to lie and potentially save himself from Wrath, should there be any.

"…It wasn't me," he admitted. "But somebody- er, did something."

Ratchet wearily scratched his faceplates. "You are pointless."

"I know."

"Give him here," the medic demanded, hand already awaiting the seekerlet.

Megatron carefully passed Starscream over.

Ratchet prodded him- not Megatron, Starscream- and narrowed his optics disapprovingly at the lack of response. "_You **fool**_," the medic hissed, fist waving as close as he could get it to Megatron's face. This involved standing on the tips of his pedes in a rather childish fashion.

Not that Ratchet could ever be accused of being childish if you valued your life.

"I didn't _do_ it," Megatron protested, feeling extremely childish and thus reducing himself to the CMO's (unofficial) level.

"If a child were not present I would _disembowel _you and feed you to a compressor. Then I'd gather your neatly squashed parts and hack them up with my buzzsaw. Slowly. Once I had finished, I would kick you. Hard. Repeatedly. Against a wall. You'd bounce, Megatron, and it would be satisfying to observe your lack of dignity. 'Ha ha ha,' I would laugh. I would laugh loudly, Megatron, so even your damaged audio receptors could receive the sound. Then I would give you to Starscream so that he could chew you. Perhaps to Skywarp so he could teleport into the sky and drop you from however high up he fancies. Maybe Thundercracker could lie on top of you and use you as bedding. Then I might see if Ironhide would shoot you out of his cannons into a molten Pit of shame. Finally, I would present you to Jazz. He'd take you everywhere he went, Megatron. You would have no capacity to mobilise yourself. You would be stuck with inane nonsensical chattering for the rest of your life." Ratchet paused, then seemed to realise that none of this was possible, as Starscream was indeed present. He turned to the seekerlet with a frown. "Child, I dislike you."

Megatron didn't quite know what to say. "You have issues, Ratchet."

"You are one of them."

"My pleasure."

"Watch it," the medic warned. "My patience is nearing its limit."

Megatron chose not to make a smart-afted comment about Ratchet's patience. "So why is he all lifeless?"

"I take it some idiot, if not you, prodded him about here?" The CMO gestured in the direction of Starscream's wing nubs.

"Yeasss."

Somehow discarding the laws of gravity and all differences in height, a scowling Ratchet violently beat Megatron on the side of his helm.

"Ow," Megatron said.

"Be a mech." Displeased, Ratchet hit him again.

Megatron suffered his punishment in a more dignified silence.

This seemed to satisfy the medic; for the moment the battering ceased. "Why did you think it was appropriate to hand your charge over to somebody else?"

"He said he knew how to calm him down," Megatron reasoned. "Believe me, beige was making a scene."

"That isn't _good _enough," Ratchet dismissed. "You are responsible for Starscream- as responsible as you were for Optimus. Would you have handed your brother over?"

Megatron bristled, the answer obvious.

"If it is your temporary duty to look after him, then do it _properly."_

"I didn't know," the larger mech said, the statement heavy. "I didn't know. Is he functional?"

Ratchet considered the flaccid sparkling. "He should be."

Megatron exhaled shortly in relief.

"A caution," the CMO said. "You're not let off that easily. Don't do it again. If it is done too frequently over too long a period, cases of mental instability have been noted."

"Why so?"

"Impulses from the point of contact are sent to the processor, annulling and numbing all response and severely delaying reaction time, thus its use as some form of sedation. When not under the influence of this technique, behaviours can become more erratic."

"_More_ erratic?" Megatron snorted. "Impossible."

"There are some reports of bipolar Seekers," Ratchet continued, more to himself than to anybody else. "And yet nobody realised the cause. The Seekers were so wild and unreasonable that they were culled."

Megatron accepted the proffered sparkling back.

"What can I do?"

"There isn't anything you _can_ do. You had better hope that this hasn't happened too many times before."

"You're serious? That single poke could have turned him insane?"

"Don't be flippant," Ratchet hissed.

Starscream twitched slightly and faintly narrowed his optics with a soft growl.

"I didn't know," Megatron protested guiltily.

"I hope he holds it against you forever," the medic informed. "I almost hope he will be batty; then I can beat you for it daily."

* * *

Starscream's listless state persisted for a good while, and Megatron became extremely concerned for his sure-to-be-terrorised future self.

"Come back," he nearly whined (Megatron does _not _whine, being Megatron and all), prodding the now recharging seekerlet gently. "Do you realise the extent to which they'll mock me if they see you like this?"

Starscream most arrogantly did not respond.

"I'll kill you," the silver mech tried hopefully.

Beige clearly didn't believe him.

Megatron pouted and thought harder about his persuasive techniques. "Jazz will take pity on you. And then he'll jump at you, Starscream, and I _won't _save you."

A sudden _vvvvvvwoosh _of a door caught his attention: the torture was to begin.

"Megs!" Optimus cried, prancing through with Ironhide trying to maintain a dignified gait behind- although this was somewhat ruined by the blue Seeker splodged across his shoulder armour- "Thundercracker _spoke-"_

Now that was stunning.

"He _spoke? _What did he say?"

"Affirmative," the Prime nodded enthusiastically to the former question. "He _groaned _at us, like this-" and the most important mech on Cybertron screwed up an optic with the effort of accurately reproducing the sound- "'hurhhghh'."

Megatron thought about this a moment. "...I thought you said he spoke-?"

"It's close!" Optimus insisted. "Quite an achievement; he hasn't done it since."

Ironhide's cannons swivelled in support, but Megatron did not quite know what to say.

"So Megs- you and Starscream had an equally thrilling orn?"

"Super."

"Ah'm _comin_'!" announced a disturbingly familiar voice from the corridor. "Th' bes' fam's comin'!"

Megatron massaged his nasal plating wearily and debated internally whether he had enough energy to deal with _this._

"Prowl, how do you cope?" he enquired sincerely as a silver blur twirled incessantly through the doorway.

"I have various coping mechanisms," the tactician replied, entering more cautiously with Skywarp on his helm. "Denial works rather well."

Megatron glanced down as something suddenly nudged his hand gently, and found Starscream suddenly coughing and hacking next to it.

Before he could even react or embarrass himself by doing something silly like declaim that his Seeker was indeed alive, the seekerlet stilled, then twittered to himself before dropping something into Megatron's claws.

The mech sighed at the something: scrap metal. "You carried it all of that time?"

Starscream blinked up at him, eagerly awaiting a response.

"Oh Primus, do you want praise for something so_ inane?_ Beige, this is just another failing in a long string of failures. Why do I feel like this won't be the last utter retardation you thrust in my direction?"

Ironhide laughed, the volume of the sound causing the seekerlets to twitch.

Megatron cast him a withering glance. "At least mine has something to give me other than a _groan."_

"Oh, _yours_ now?"

Megatron felt like beating his face into something sharp. Perhaps Optimus would be persuaded/tricked into unsubspacing one of his swords- then again, the mech would probably blame himself for his brother's then deformed face, and be forever morose and guilty-looking.

No, that would not do.

Megatron was about to consider his other options when Jazz's hands were clasped together suddenly with a whoop. (Oh no.)

"Megsy knows his baby's his baby!"

"I do not have a 'baby'."

Optimus waved a hand. "You did say he was 'yours'."

"I am going to kill you all," Megatron informed with a wonderful sense of calm.

"You wouldn't kill me," Optimus replied cheerfully.

"Yer can't kill Jazzeh!" Jazz cried exuberantly, twirling neatly. "Ah'll jus' come bahk!"

Starscream squawked.

"Starscream doesn't think you will," Megatron sniped childishly.

"So yer know wha' yer baby's sayin' now?" Jazz returned speedily.

"You're going to die," the large mech growled.

"All yer ever do is give death threats," the saboteur dismissed airily. "Yer'll never carry 'em out. An' yer givin' Starscream a bad infl'unce."

"Prowl," Megatron nearly breathed, "tell me you have found the sparklings' creators."

"Afraid I can't." Prowl sounded just as faint. "_No work today."_

"What on Cybertron-"

Jazz beamed and flickered his visor in a bright wink. "Ah took t'liberty of abusin' Prowlie!"

Ratchet massaged his nasal plates. "Please continue that utterance."

"Ah abused Prowlie's work schedule," he delightedly informed. "No work!"

Prowl twitched.

"Prowlie couldn't ignore meh," Jazz added.

"Prowlie wishes he could," the tactician whispered. "Prowlie would give anything."

"Aw Prowlie," the silver mech beamed, "ah love yer."

"If you love me, then you surely want me to be happy."

"Yer."

"So _give me my work back," _Prowl reasoned.

Jazz considered this. "Ah see yer point, Prowlie-owl. But ah don't wan'us t'be a dysfunctional fam'ly like Megsy. Yer must put yer work aside aft'a certain time."

The black and white mech thought, then extended his hand with a nod. "Deal."

Jazz bypassed the hand and leapt at him with a gurgle. "PROWLIE!"

Skywarp VOPped between them at the last second- as the two mechs collided, there was an additional crash as the sparkling was crushed in the middle.

"Lovely," Prowl said.

"Beige," Megatron said calmly, "I am very glad you are retarded as you are and not retarded like your fellows."

Starscream bit his claw with a quiet growl.

"At least Thundercracker doesn't eat us," Optimus pointed out.

"But he doesn't do _anything."_

"Ironhide, don't be cruel."

"It's true," the black mech insisted. "He's equally useless."

"Skywarp doesn't have a use either," Optimus argued.

"How _dare_ yer!" Jazz roared. "Prime or no, ah'll fight yer fer tha'!" He sprang out in front of Optimus, bending his knees slightly in some martial arts pose.

Ironhide was already there, black bulk directly in Jazz's face. "Get away."

"Be a mech!" the saboteur howled, undeterred.

Optimus presumed this was aimed at him and not in fact at his bodyguard's abdomen. "Jazz, be reasonable."

"Nevah! Y'insult mah fam's honour, an-"

"Back away," Ironhide insisted, stepping forwards and effectively thrusting his armour into Jazz's face, with the intent of forcing the stubborn mech backwards.

Jazz bent in an awkward looking U-shape as he strived to avoid stepping backwards. "This'll _nevah _be settled! Our childer's childer's childers will war- d'you want tha'?"

Optimus attempted to ignore the enraged ranting.

"I am so sorry," Prowl said, overcome with shame.

"He isn't your fault," Megatron justified. "He belongs with the loonies."

"Then he's in the right place," Ratchet cackled, appearing from apparently nowhere.

Damn the mech. He inexplicably and consistently appeared whenever somebody had set themselves up verbally.

"Starscream belongs w'th'loonies!" Jazz retorted. "He's chewin' yer away-"

Optimus cackled as his brother futilely attempted to manoeuvre his claws away from the persistent sparkling.

"It isn't Starscream's fault that Megatron looks like a chew-toy," Ratchet pointed out. "And you can't comment, Optimus. You were the same."

"Lies!" Prime cried. "I didn't _eat Megatron."_

"I beg to differ."

"Beg all you like," Optimus allowed graciously. "I am above it. Aren't I, Megsy?"

"Of course you are," Megatron said, flicking Starscream in the face to a snarl.

"That sounded a little vicious," Ironhide remarked.

"Oh no, he's just playing."

"You _hear _meh?" Jazz was continuing to Ironhide's plating. "Yer'll regret th'orn-"

A sudden and unexpected _thwock_ attracted their attentions, followed more strikingly by a high-pitched squeal.

"NOWLOOKWHA'YERDONE," Jazz howled at Optimus. "YER HAPPY?"

Skywarp was clutching his helm tearfully.

Thundercracker dropped the wrench and promptly returned to recharge.

"Whoops," Ratchet said under his breath. "No idea how he found that."

A near hysterical Jazz was about to scoop Skywarp up when the sniffling black sparkling resolutely prodded Thundercracker.

It was unsurprising that the latter did not move or respond.

"_Ow," _Megatron hissed, a bent claw twitching in pain after a particularly nasty Starscream-bite. "You filthy little-"

"I thought he was 'playing'."

"He's sharp," the mech complained. "You should try him."

Optimus poked Thundercracker morosely. "Has he died?"

Ironhide powered up a cannon in the sparkling's face, and they watched intently as the blue light throbbed and pulsated beside the tiny creature.

"If you shoot him, do you think he will move?" Optimus asked.

"I don't know," the black mech replied thoughtfully, cannon rotating.

One of the blue sparkling's optics cracked open at the soft clunk the weapon made.

"He's _alive_," Optimus whispered.

"Indeed," Ironhide agreed gravely.

"Do you think he's going to move?"

"I doubt it very much."

With a slow, deliberate movement, the seekerlet yawned. In mid-yawn, his mouth slowly moved upwards in a lazy arc until he fastened it around the rim of the cannon.

Ironhide shook it gently. "No, TC."

Jazz was worried. "'hide, yer cannon might go off."

"What do you take me for?" the black mech demanded. "My cannons will not go off without my say-so."

"Well, ah took yer fer trigger-happy."

Ironhide returned his attention to the more pressing problem; Thundercracker had closed his optic and looked as dead as ever.

"No, TC," Ironhide firmly repeated as Optimus prodded the sparkling firmly. "Chewing weaponry is not appropriate."

Opening the optic again, Thundercracker considered this idea before refastening his mouth around the rim of the cannon.

"Release my weaponry!"

"I did that once," Optimus informed the lax sparkling before gesturing to his faceplate. "Blew up in my face. That's why I wear this; I'm hideously scarred."

He was abruptly cuffed around the helm, the sudden movement causing Thundercracker to release the cannon and splat onto the ground.

"_Optimus! _Don't make up stories like that!"

Ratchet jabbed a stern finger at Jazz, who was returning to his Skywarp-grab. "_No."_

"Buh-"

"Enough molly-coddling," the CMO hissed dangerously. "They may be seekerlets now, but one orn they will be true _Seekers. _Will you let them interact, for Primus' sake?"

Jazz looked so miserable that Prowl tentatively patted him on the shoulder. Predictably, the saboteur grabbed him around the waist with a soft wail.

"You call that interaction?" Ironhide demanded, as Skywarp poked Thundercracker repeatedly. "Inane."

"Shut up," Ratchet said. "If they're going to be a trine then they'll need to bond."

"_Bond-_bond?" Jazz hissed in alarm, helm unburrowing from Prowl's stiffly held chassis with optics wide.

The medic would have thrown a wrench if there was any chance it would not have rebounded off the poor tactician.

Meanwhile, Skywarp persisted.

Now, Skywarp was an odd little sparkling.

He saw the world in bright lights and pretty colours, and if it wasn't bright or pretty then he wasn't overly interested unless it was a special case (like Thundercracker). Whilst he cared little for most things, like nearly all youngsters he did care about being ignored. And when Skywarp dedicated himself to something, he did it with all of his little Spark with single-minded determination, devoting his energy in its boundless entirety to the task's completion.

Thundercracker did not really stand a chance, but he valiantly continued his lethargy.

Megatron cast a sideways glance at Starscream and found the seekerlet was already looking at him. At first he simply believed that they were sharing another now customary look of 'oh dear', but-

The mech watched thoughtfully as Starscream twitched his winglets and flicked his helm towards his fellow uselesses. Seeing no response, the sparkling fixed him with a sharp glare and yapped.

Somehow it seemed to fit into place; beige was asking for permission.

"Get lost," Megatron granted. "Go and show them who the boss is."

* * *

And I am off to have a well-earned session on Assassin's Creed to congratulate myself on my first cracky update in about ten months. Nothing like assassinating terribly misinformed fools to make yourself feel good!

At any rate, hope this was about up to standard! See you all soon, beautiful people. :D I'm going to try and make updates much more regular.

Next chapter; 

The Seekers do fluffy things!  
Ratchet finally gets his paws upon them!  
Jazz will be sane!  
And Soundwave lurks about doing creepy things with tentacles!

(One of the above is false. ;) )


End file.
